CHAPTER 21 MAKING PLANS

Julia found her cell charging with a note attached to it.

Read your text messages...:)

Julia turned the phone on and she opened up multiple texts from her Jayson. Obviously he had missed her enough to text her regularly. Ranging from sweet, short, long, bored or just plain dirty picture messages.

-Wake up. IMU

-Wake up, ILYSVM

-I call your voicemail to hear your voice. IMU

-This place is a fuckin mess and Tavin is complaining. I will do it this weekend. fuucckkk

-Hayley fucked Tavin. She's spending the weekend.

-Hayley...she said it's not similar...thanks Julia. I believed you ???

-I'm at work. I'm bored AF. No zoms yet.

-You're awake finally. 3 weeks, baby.

A text with an attachment. She clicked it and it opened to Zoe Flannigan's obituary.

1995-2015 Zoe Nina Flannigan Died Suddenly March 5, 2015 at age 20. Zoe was a 2013 graduate of Ridley High School. More recently Zoe attended Delaware County Community College and was employed at Applebee's Restaurant. Zoe was active in her local community theater, was an avid reader, artist, cartoonist and penned her own poetry.

Zoe is survived by her parents, Robert and Linda (DiGregorio). Her brothers Kyle and Hayden and her sisters Elizabeth and Katherine.

Family and friends are invited to visit March 7, 2015 10am to 1130am at McCausland Garrity Marchesani Funeral Home, 343 S. Chester Pike, Glenolden, PA. Burial is private.

In lieu of flowers, donations to your local ASPCA.

Another text indicated he and Alex had made the drive to Zoe's viewing, she'd been cremated.

Picture message. -It's a start- was the caption and a selfie of Jay outside the reformatory. He'd ended his work day and he had his hair down, a white tee and the reformatory fence behind him. This picture reminded her of Antonio. This is the picture from the box in her closet.

-Shit's about to go down. Kelly knows about Hayley.

-They made up.

-Horny...horny...horny...horny...horny...

More picture messages. Several students stood out to him, Damon being one of them.  Hector and Julio. So that's Julio? Julia studied the short and stocky kid. He looked like a youthful version of his father. Cropped black hair, dark olive skin, a friendly smile.

Damon...she texted that pic message to Chess.

The grounds from outside the fence, inside the fence, from the war room overlooking the campus that stretched to the road. The quad. The roof? He'd made it to the roof and he took several photos from all angles. The entire campus looked so different from what she had lived and experienced. She felt misty eyed as she looked at home. She felt homesick. She wanted to go home. Her room, her bed, her child, her husband.

A video from the front gate to the main office building room by room and through out level by level. The elevator...her water broke in that ancient elevator. Second floor, office by office and then Jay as he climbed the steps to the war room. It all looked so different, a shell of what Chess had done to the house. It didn't seem real. She felt so far from that home. It was not her home yet.

"I think this is your room." Jay said as he made his way back to the 2nd floor. He opened the door and he stood inside the room. Her bedroom. Currently an office. She could visualize her bed in there. She could see her desk and her stuff. Her closet in the rear of the room. That's my room, she thought. It had the least work done to it. It resembled the original building. She had never wanted it remodeled and Chess had indulged her, leaving it untouched as she desired. He remembered her room and he'd only visited once.

Julia read through all the text messages and looked at all the pictures and videos and got choked up. She closed the messages and set the phone down. She was overwhelmed.

"Pull it together, Julia." She sighed, looking around the empty house. She hated that period of adjustment, getting used to being home away from home.

-Chess...

-Yeah

-I can't do this, Chess. I wanna go home.

-You are home...Julia

-I don't like being alone. I'm scared and sad and-

-gotta get used to it all over again...have you talked to him yet?

-No

-Call him...

-he's dead...

-no he's not...call him...he's at work...

Julia picked up her phone and called him. He answered.

"Hi, you're home already?" He asked.

"Been home."

"You alright? It's good to hear your voice."

"You're not home, Jay."

"I'm at work, Julia. Did you want me to stay home?"

"I got all your messages. I was-they made me happy."

"I love you. I'll see you soon."

"Ugh, yeah. I don't feel good at all." She mumbled.

"Julia, you're still bouncing back, baby. Go lay down. I'll see you after work." He asked.

She had the feeling she left the lab too soon. She felt sluggish, tired, like the floor was dropping out from beneath her feet where she stood at the counter.

Julia woke to pitch black darkness. She sucked in lungs full of air and felt around her. She felt heavy, weighted down by gear. She struggled along with the pack on her back. Too heavy. She tried to focus her eyes and was unsuccessful.

"I can't see." She announced. She sensed many people around her, but one was close. A familiar hand flew over her mouth to quiet her.

She pulled it away and scanned the darkness. "It's too fucking dark. What the hell is going on?"

She felt goggles pulling from her hair over her forehead. Her heart started pounding. A hand flipped the switch on the side of her goggles and it enabled her to better see in the dark. "I-"

"Shut up. Keep up." She felt the same hand on her gear dragging her through the darkness. A small hand and a small body at her left.

"Gun, Morgan." He said. She stopped and stood still, eyes scanning the darkness around them. She felt his body in front of hers. He covered her. She felt him raising his own weapon and firing, the soft whoosh of the rifle. Like Antonio's from the nest. whoosh-whoosh. But this was not Antonio. This was Devine. She raised her head a little, straining to visualize at what he was shooting. What was he shooting at? She felt blind. She felt stupid. She saw nothing.

He yanked her along on tired feet and she tried hard to focus. She switched back and forth between night vision and no vision. No vision. She concentrated on her surroundings, the energy finally came into focus and her innate night vision was enabled.

"Morgan. What's up with you?"

"D?" She asked under her breath. "Where the hell are we?"

"Look there, number two. See it?" He breathed with a satisfaction in his voice.

"It's all fucking red, D. We shouldn't be out here. We don't have enough bullets, D." She groaned, feeling the fear as she reached on her right hip for her knife. She felt it there. She felt better, a sharp security blanket. But seriously. One knife with zoms fast as lightening. She was no runner. "What's the plan, D?" She asked.

"You don't know?" He laughed. "It's your fuckin plan."

D clicked on his helmet. "It's a go, yo." He said with some enthusiasm. She heard his voice in her helmet. "Go. Go. Go. Go. Go." Multiple  times. "Go. Go. Go. Go. Go." All different voices.

"Hell, yeah." D laughed. "Morgan, let's hit it and light em up."

"Huh?"

"Firebombs, Morgan." He whined. "Just start hitting the fuckin fence." He ordered, handing off a heavy pipe to her.

"No. That'll bring them over here. You fucking crazy, D?"

"Go or no, D? Where the fuck is Morgan?"

"Speak, Morgan." He yelled, switching on her mic.

"Here."

"Do it, Morgan."

"Do what?" She asked, holding the heavy pipe in her grip. D grasped her wrist and slammed the pipe against the heavy fence. She repeated the activity till she got the attention of the throng of zoms in field of vision. "We need to leave. What the fuck, D?" She yelled. "This is insane." D lit it and threw it and set them on fire. "Oh." She smiled. "I know what we're doing."

"Finally. Move. Keep walking." He ordered, giving her a push forward. As she advanced the entire yard lit up with fire. She was in awe.

"Holy fucking shit."

Hundreds of fire bombs went up and over and into the nocturnal crowd of death.

"Faster, keep going, Morgan." He urged. Pipe on the fence. Eyes scanning their surroundings. "Never take your eyes off the path in front of you." He reminded her.

"Julia, you ok out there?" Chess's voice came to life through the headset.

"Yeah, a little scared at first, but I'm ok. I got the idea."

"You're back."

"In a fucking nest no less with my number one, yeah."

"Welcome to Jersey, bitch."

"Aye, fuck you." She laughed.

Her bag on her back lightened as D withdrew the firebombs and threw them. How many were there? Right hand on knife, eyes on path. Knife out, knife into skull. Fuck...it's stuck. Boot on skull, knife in hand. I'm out of practice. When D ran out of firebombs, they stopped and gazed at the work they'd done.

"Now what, D?"

"Now we got light. Now we go in."

"In? No. Absolutely not."

"Rendezvous point in 5. Haul ass. We need the light." D said into his mic. "Julia, are you ok?"

"No. I-yes." She kept up with D and ran with him. Taking out the old virus walkers along the way.

"No, leave them. We'll get them later." D ordered, snatching her by her empty gear bag. He moved her faster and faster till they were at the rendezvous point. She was in awe of the throng of people at the rendezvous site.

"D, explain the plan to Morgan. Phase two. Fast. We're heading in. You bring up the rear." Chess ordered.

D rattled off the plan. Go in, exterminate, pile, burn. They were not on the team going inside the building to clear it. "It would be easier than staying in the yard." She said, against the whole idea of this plan.

"Julia, sit this out. Keep yourself safe. Stay there. You can do that much."

"Fuck that. Morgan, we stay together." D grabbed her and dragged her inside the yard and she about jumped out of her skin. These zoms were on fire and still alive, a majority of them. Flames did slow them some. Was this the best plan I could come up with? "We clear nests during the day. Not in the thick of night. Are you people crazy?" She yelled. Her arm was tiring from stabbing so many skulls. Her body was aching from the activity, dodging flaming hands and the scorched bodies that launched themselves toward her and Devine. She'd just recovered and feared the virus all over again. When the rush settled around them. D removed the knife from her and handed her the gun she had on her.

"Morgan, for fuck sake, shoot them. You can't stab every zom in the fucking head." He jammed her knife back in its sheath on her waist.

"New virus. Shoot them." Chess clamored in her ear.

"I have never done this, Chess!" She screamed, breathing heavy. She felt the tears starting, pulled the goggles off her head so she could see clearly.

"Can we go quiet?" Some smart ass requested.

"Fuck you, turn off your head set." Julia snapped. This was a nice gun. She reflected for a moment back to the first nest with Antonio. She'd still used her knife. Old habits were hard to break.

"Do your fuckin job." He snapped back.

"Who is that?" She asked D.

"Mayers." He answered.

"Which one?"

"Jody." D replied.

Julia made note of that. Talking to a superior like that. She'd handle that later.

The killing went on for another hour. Gradually the herd thinned out and she was exhausted. Not so exhausted that she feared going inside. She was riding the adrenaline as she and D crept into the warehouse. But the party was over in there. She met up with people just as exhausted and just as excited.

"Not the best time to drop in, Morgan." Chess grinned, putting arms around her.

"That was terrifying. I have never seen anything like that." She was visibly shaken up and scared. "If it was not for D, Chess."

"You learned to listen finally. Good girl."

"Hey, I need to talk with Alex. Where's Alex?" She asked. She didn't want to go home. Chess didn't answer.

"Babe, we should talk." He said, pulling off his head gear.

"Talk about what? Where is Alexander?" She backed away. "Where is my brother?"

"Come with me, Julia." He said softly. "Please." He said sternly, leading her away from the eyes and ears around them.

Chess led her across the yard to the fence and to the gate and he escorted her out to the vehicles. He led her to the truck and helped her climb in, then he pulled the flap down over the end of the truck.

"He's not in here." She whispered.

"No, but you can't freak out inside there in front of everyone. You need to hold it together in front of the squad. Here, " He motioned around the truck. "You may carry on as you see fit."

The green truck similar to the one that she'd ridden to the first nest with Antonio closed in around her. The lights above the seats faintly illuminated the dark. She took a seat.

"He died. He did what any of us would have done for each other."

"At the hands of the savages."

"Well, the savages are savage."

"Are they dead?" Julia asked.

"Every last soul involved has met their maker. We did what we fucking do. I told Tatia this mission was fucking suicide and neither of them was willing to listen."

"Where is Tatia now?"

"Philadelphia. With Tav and Kell."

"Good."

"She feels responsible."

"That's what leaders do. They take the responsibility for all of this fucking mess."

"I took responsibility for it and told her as much. She's lost two brothers to this war and as the sector leader I bear the full responsibility for the death we do. You know that as well as I."

"Did she take revenge?"

"Yes, but she fell apart, Julia. This is also why we do not allow females in the infantry."

"I am sitting right here." Julia snapped.

"You are different."

"Because I can handle this?" She yelled.

"You can and you will. What has she suffered in her life? Nothing. She is strong, but she is not leader strong. She got in for the wrong reasons. We entered as survivors. She entered for a boyfriend."

Julia laughed at that remark. It dawned on her that she would not be able to stay as Alex had passed. He would have been able to make it happen. He would have been able to-

"You are not as upset as I thought you would be."

"Because I can return home and see my brother. Just like I can go home and see Jay."

"Lucky you." He sighed. "You have the luxury of seeing them again and soon."

"Woo-hoo. I was home for five minutes. Once we left the fucking lab, Chess, I wanted to..."

"What?"

"Come home."

"You always nose dive when you revive. You know you have a depression that you have to crawl out of. You always have. The lab was delightful from what I recall. You changed some things around. Brought me some memories that I didn't know I had if I recall."

"Yeah." She agreed. "Why am I here? It's not the virus. I recovered."

"You're diabetic." He answered. "Tavin can explain better. I don't recall much. It has to do with the baby. You're going to hate it. Every finger stick and needle stick and the diet. You will despise it."

"All that for a miscarriage."

Chess was quiet a moment. "Would you like to know? That's not in your book."

"Umm, I-"

"Alright then. Maybe now would not be a good time to talk about those we've lost?"

"We should though."

"Suicide mission, Julia. You and I are lucky to be alive, Julia. Half our squad is dead, Julia."

"Mayers is alive." She pointed out.

"Yeah. D obviously. Me, you, Masters. Mayers' brothers. Katara. The child bride is a ninja. I was right with that one."

"That's what's left?"

"That is what is left of our original suicide squad. Old school has faired much better than our new generation. But I will say every kid that walked away from that school with us is alive."

"Savages?"

"Savages are just an angry mob. It is the new virus. They are not prepared. I am glad Tia is in Philly or she would be gone too. This is insanity." He reached for her hand. "Come, sit with me." He guided her to the seat next to him. "We should talk about Antonio. I think since you met him and had a child with him and obviously it was you who connected with him..."

"No."

"He died the way the others died. Our first night here was awful."

Julia leaned forward and put her head in her hands. "Fuck." She said as the tears started.

"People get scared and people do not follow plans."

"And people die."

"This is one of our better nights. We didn't lose anyone."

"There's no one left to fuckin lose."

"I will be honest with you. You busted your ass and you kept D alive. You chose the boy over the boyfriend."

"Devine has no experience. Antonio has been trained. He's been out with infantry. That's why I would have been all over D. Tonight D was all over me. I owe him."

She leaned back in the seat and sat holding Chess's hand, crying about Antonio. More for Antonia than for herself. Antonio Freeman was a good man. Antonio had never wanted to go to New Jersey. He had entered for infantry.

"The misery is thick in here, my Julia."

"Yep. My heart's broken right now."

"I understand that."

"I don't even know what to say."

She woke inside an ambulance. "lemme out' she slurred.

"Hey, Julia." Tavin said.

"What's going on..." She groaned. "I feel like shit."

"Your gonna be fine." He said calmly.

Where am I now? She wondered which part of the past, present or future she'd arrived feeling like she'd been run over by a truck. She felt weak, shaky, sweating and her heart was pounding.

"You in an ambulance. A few tests and you'll be back home tonight, Julia. Maybe overnight. But you're gonna be ok."

"What the fuck. Let me out. No more fuckin hospitals. No." She tried to get up.

"You wanna be restrained." He stated. She settled. "Good girl." He smiled his handsome calm medic smile. "Your blood sugar was 37."

"What's that mean?" She asked.

"When did you eat last?"

"Yesterday. What year is it? Is it still-where am I? Are the zombies here yet?" Her heart pounded in her chest.

"No zombies, Julia. No." He stuck her arm. "Ouch." She groaned. "The baby, Tavin."

"Probably why the sugar's so low. Yeah. I'm taking blood."

"I feel it."

"You got fluids running. You should start feeling better in a minute."

"Morphine?"

"Nah, not today, Julia." He smiled, then he winked at her.

"How many nights do I have to sit next to your bed, Mrs. Morgan?" Jay asked as she roused from slumber.

"Oh, I am in the damn hospital. Again." She groaned. "I still feel like shit. Come here, handsome." She held her arms out to him.

"You look like shit." He said, concern written all over his face. He sat next to her, hugged her, brought her close to him.

"I missed you. What the hell happened?"

"Alex came home from school and found you passed out on the floor in the living room."

"I don't remember."

"You've had more doctors and tests than I can count. You started going off and they sedated you. They can't get your sugar up."

"Great. I'm diabetic now."

"I'm sure with some research you'll be able to figure it out."

She started crying. "I wanna go home."

"In the morning. Want something to eat? I could find you something."

"I wanna sleep in my bed. I don't wanna be sick anymore. That's all I want."

Julia left in the morning with a blood sugar monitor and all its accessories, a stack of information on diabetes, follow up appointments for an endocrinologist, a GYN and her primary. She'd had an ultrasound scheduled for the following week, but so far, everything with Caroline's development indicated she was healthy. Jayson shoveled food in her mouth even though she wasn't hungry. He read the directions and showed her how to check her blood sugar. She was despondent and disinterested.

He fed her again at lunch time. Her sugar was 222. High. He jotted it down in her sugar journal. She could care less. She showered and she came downstairs to his mother and her father.

She said hello in passing, wrapped in a towel. She'd lost weight. She looked miserable. She walked to the basement and went there and stayed there.

"Julia, aren't you coming back up?"

"No." She answered. She curled up under a blanket and she went to sleep. She skipped dinner. Tavin came down and got her up.

"You. You're getting up if I have to get you dressed and drag you up there myself."

"Let me die."

"No, I will not. Get up." He said. "Now."

"I'm naked."

"Yeah, And? I saw you naked yesterday and a million other times before."

She crawled from beneath her blanket and she rummaged in her drawer till she found some sweats and a tee.

"You need your meds?"

"No." She answered quickly. "Is Alex here?"

"Yes."

"Good. I wanna see him." Last she'd heard, he was dead.

"Chess called three times." Tav said following her.

"He doesn't need a phone. What's his game?" She mumbled, jogging up the flight of stairs. "Is Jay at work?"

"Yeah." He said, catching her arm as she head out of the kitchen. "Sit. Sugar."

"You calling me sugar now?" She snapped, taking a seat in front of a plate of food that she didn't want.

"Oh, you're in a mood." He smirked, taking her hand. He grabbed a finger and stabbed her with the lancet, squeezing a droplet of blood onto the test strip in her glucometer. "64. Eat before you bottom out." She stared at the plate. "Eat. Now is not the time for a hunger strike." She stared at him then back to the plate. "You won't get up till you eat."

"What am I? Five?" He tossed a bag on the table. A small black zipper bag. "Morphine?" She asked sarcastically.

"This is an IV start kit that we'll keep here and it has a 500 bag of IV dextrose in it. So if you bottom out again, I can bring you back up. No hospital. There's some oral remedies also, some sugar and some candy."

"Swedish fish?"

"Eat and I will have Jay bring some fish tonight."

"Lots of fish." She smiled. "I don't have a big appetite anymore, Tavin. The virus tore up my intestines."

"Did you bottom out in the lab?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Cause I ate there."

"Why there and not here?"

"Cause Chess made me eat there."

"What else did Chess make you do in the lab?"

She was caught by surprise. "Nothing."

"You know I know you. I know you like you know me."

"How is fat Hayley?" She asked, looking down at her plate. He ignored her comment.

She was quiet, still looking at the plate.

"So, eat."

"Or else what?" She asked, feeling light headed.

"You don't feel good, do you?"

"No." Her breath quickened and her hands started trembling.

"That's your blood sugar. You're dropping. Here." He slid orange juice across the table to her.

She drank it and felt better. He leaned to her and spoke in her ear. "Do I need to call your husband, Julia?"

She gasped and straightened up. "No. Why?"

"Eat." He pointed at the plate and got up and walked out back with his cigarettes.

When he returned, the plate was still untouched. She had emptied the glass of orange juice. He handed her the phone and she listened.

"I'm glad you're home. I'm glad you're better. Clean your plate and every plate he sits in front of you. Listen to the brother and do as he says. Understand?"

"Yes."

"I love you. Bye."

Julia picked up her fork and she forced the plate of food down her throat. The plate, when she handed it to Tavin, was clean and no morsel was left. "I'll be damned. He was telling the truth."

"May I see Alexander now?"

"Alexander? Alex? Yes. Go ahead."

He texted Chess.

-very obedient, polite even-

He'd been guessing on the sex. He knew Julia. From what Chess had told him, she was very complacent and pleasing. Quiet and calm. Not an angry bone in her and the times that anger peeked out, it was appropriate. She was very easily redirected. Very eager to please. A completely different girl. Chess felt as though Tavin needed some degree of warning. She listened, but would she listen to anyone? He'd said to call if she had problems readjusting.

She sought out her brother. Jay had told her Alex had his own gift. Could he use it? His abilities were stronger and more powerful than that of her basic energy and emotion sensing. She entered Alex's room and asked Julia, too to get out and leave them.

"Sure, Julia. Let me know when you're done chatting." She said, hugging her. "I'm glad you're home."

"Thanks, Jules. Glad to be back."

She flopped in bed with Alex and held him as she cried. He'd never seen her break down before.

"Connect with me." She cried, taking his hands. He was a smaller and more open version of the brother she knew.

"Oh, no. Not you too." He said, against this idea.

"You can do things I cannot." She cried.

"What do you want me to do, Julia?" He asked, feeling nervous.

"I don't want you reading my mind. Quit it."

"It's how I do things. I only know one way."

"Well, you're gonna hear some things and maybe see some things. Set it aside and help me. You'll know what I want. You'll know why."

He pulled his hands away within the first few moments. "Ugh. No. I can't help you with that. We want you here."

"Please, Alex. I can't do this on my own."

"No. Stop it." He said.

"Ok. You don't have to. But can you do it though? Is it possible?"

"Yes."

"Fine. Can I stay a little while? Would you mind?"

"I don't mind. No. We need you here."

Julia lay with Alex a long time. She soon drifted back to sleep and Jay came looking for her when he got home from work. He woke her, let Julia, too and Alex back in the room from the sofa. He took her to the kitchen where he stuck her finger. "137. I think that's good, Jules."

"I wouldn't know."

"What were you doing up with Alex?"

"Talking until I fell asleep on him."

"You eat tonight?"

"I did. I cleaned my plate."

He handed her a bag of fish and led her downstairs.

"You ok, Jules?"

"Tired. Sad. Sick. A lot on my mind."

"Ok."

She set her bag of fish on the desk and got in her bed. She forgot her phone upstairs, but didn't care if she woke up in the morning. She felt sure someone would wake her, demand a drop of blood, demand she ate, demand she keep herself and her child alive....

"Jay, come meet your daughter." She said, pulling off her clothes.

"Huh?" He asked, pulling off his own clothes.

He lay beside her, putting his arms around her, "I missed you so much, Julia." He said, kissing her shoulder.

"I missed you too, Jayson." She said, taking his hand and placing it over her stomach, which was gurgling. "Here she is. Now, listen to her."

"Cool. It's like she's humming. Is she ok?"

"Yeah, she's fine. She's strong, she's healthy. I don't know how she survived that, but she did."

"It's a miracle?" Jay said, drumming his fingers on her belly.

"Sure is, Jay. You could say that."

"When did you take it out?"

"Right after Christmas. One morning when Tia was at school."

"Why?"

"I thought we'd have a chance before it all happened. I thought it was my shot before...a last ditch effort while hospitals still exist."

"Well, you could have asked."

"Would you have said no? You would have talked me out of it."

"Probably. I would have, yes. For now, we'll just take it one day at a time." He said softly, trying to sound optimistic.

They lay, listening to Caroline sing her song, humming and when she moved, she sounded like a wave only a distant one. Jay was fascinated by this, wished she'd known of this when she was pregnant with Jayla. It would have been nice to hear her too. He swept her hair aside and started kissing her neck. "You awake?" He asked, when she didn't respond to him. "Seriously, you fell asleep."

One day at a time...'we'll take this one day at a time.' Chess was talking with the boys as they exited the warehouse, which was home base. They'd finally taken out the largest of the nests and the others should be easy.

'yeah, a walk in the park.' Mayers muttered.

'Julia, what do you have for us this morning?' Chess asked, drawing her attention from the notebook.

'Um, hold on.' She answered, flipping the pages in her book. 'Clean up this mess and move in.'

'Where is D?' Mayers asked.

She lifted her face to him, then looked around. Daylight. Thank God. 'Can't say.' She answered. He's with Katara. He asked for time...

'You're supposed to be together.' Mayers said.

'Do not condescend to me, Mayers.' She said softly. He rolled his eyes.

'I'm not.' He replied.

"He's taking a leak." She lied. Julia read over her notes. 'Mayers, you and I will go out and we'll, um, scout the next nest.'

He said nothing. Good. She didn't want an argument. She rose from her seat on the concrete, shaking out her legs and she tucked her book in her pack. Chess looked at her, crinkling his brow.

-Out with Mayers? where is D, Julia?

- 5 inches deep in Katara

-Julia...he growled

-I know. I owed the kid. would you prefer I do it?

He laughed aloud. 'No. Be careful.'

Mayers and Julia walked side by side to the vehicles and passed a multitude of strangers that were gathering their supplies to bring into the warehouse. She noticed Mayers wasn't pleased. Was he in an eternal mood? They hopped in the jeep and drove to the next town, passing a couple squads on the road as they drove. They were clearing the old virus walkers. This whole scene was strange to her. When was the last time she slept? He slept? Any of them slept, bathed, ate? She had a horrible feeling about New Jersey. Never was a fan of this state.

"Where?" He asked over the rumble of the engine.

"I don't know yet." She answered. There's got to be an easier way. What happened to the original idea of drawing these things to one particular area and-"Left." She announced. "Left and stop at the light."

Julia hopped down from the jeep. She turned and Jody was on her heels. "Jo, calm down." She told him, putting some space between her and the kid.

"You're back. Think I didn't notice? Tia told me what is going on."

"Ok. Good for you."

"I like you more. The other one's a fucking psycho."

"How can you tell the difference?"

"When I rolled my eyes, you didn't pull your gun on me."

"Oh, I apologize, Jody."

"Ha, and that. The other one never says sorry."

"The other one has been through a lot. I'm not there yet."

"How old are you anyway?"

"19." She answered, her right hand on the knife. She slowed and held her hand up, so he stopped. "You always go for the knife first. She doesn't."

"In there." She said, heading toward the school. They like large and dark places. They like space. They like to spread out. Side by side. They wait in line. It is their only fault. It's like a rest mode. Julia knew that much. "Auditorium and Gym." She said.

"Where you going? We mark it and we come back."

"It's a small nest and I need practice. I need to get over the fear. Do you remember, Jody, the fear?"

He was silent, hand against the door, holding it shut. He was strong. The door wasn't budging when she pulled as hard as she could. "I'll do it alone."

"Yeah, right."

"I will. I just need to do it, Jody. They're slower during the day. They are in a rest state. They are not as dangerous."

He let the door go. "It's your show, Morgan."

Julia gave the door a pull and they went in. "Hand." She said, holding hers out to him.

"You wanna hold hands."

"Fuck you. Hand." She demanded.

He gave it to her and he felt it. Just like Tia. Tia's energy felt like needles poking into his flesh and fire as it burned to his brain. Morgan, on the other hand, she tickled. He felt giggly.

-it tickles. I know. speak to me

-I hear you.

-i'm gonna let go. try and answer me...you hear me right

-loud and clear

-good. when we get in there I will show you what I see.

Julia found the gym and peeked through the slat of glass on the gymnasium door. She held his hand again. She showed him the red. It was dark but not so dark she couldn't see.

-Can you climb, Mayers?

-Can I climb? He laughed. She showed him what she was thinking. The ropes hung from the ceiling.

-yes, I can do that.

-up, up and away....she sang. It was a tune she could not recall all the words to. She recalled her mom humming it when she was a kid...in my beautiful, my beautiful balloon...Balloons...fuck, remind me of that song when we get out of here.

-up, then.

He pulled the door open and the crept in and were surrounded. They lined the walls, shoulder to shoulder. Her heart was pounding. Antonio...I need Antonio...Jody shimmied up the rope like a monkey. She couldn't climb, but there was no time like the present, if she had to she'd leap and try like hell. They sprung after Jody as he climbed. Midway up, he dropped bodies. Julia kept her feet firmly on the floor. She was no runner and she was not a climber either. She wanted ground level with them. Mayers took out the majority of them. She wanted practice. She wanted them when they were not on fire. She was no fan of fire. She wanted to take them out face to face, which was their general weakness overall. Did these things have a weakness? What is their weakness? She saw him in the back of the gym. She saw the one who waited in the darkness.

-in the back. Jody. the back of the gym, he's waiting and he hasn't moved. take him out. now. shoot it.

Jody swung on the rope and his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He could not see it. Julia raised her weapon and she aimed, fired, took the red dot and it faded to black. The others reacted. Crouching, those that were left. They stayed down. They stayed at ease.

-jody...you see this?

Julia lowered her weapon and Mayers slid back down the rope, his boots thumping on the floor. He walked to Julia's side.

-what's going on?

-I took out their leader. all this red connected back to him.

She pointed to the rear of the gym.

-now what?

-no clue, Jody. I don't know.

They waited a few minutes, but didn't let their guard down.

-Can I see that knife of yours? I never put one down.

Julia handed the knife over to him. He mimicked her grip. He jammed the knife straight through the skull and the zom fell limp and deathless to the floor. He went from Zom to Zom, trying different angles. "Eye is easiest, Jody."

"I don't like the way it pops. I like the crunch of the bone, Morgan."

"Whatever floats your boat. I find the knife gets stuck in the bone."

"Not if you slam it hard enough."

"Let's hit the next nest and find the leader."

The cafeteria and auditorium were one in the same. They huddled together in the dark and stayed put. She and Jody crept quietly and easily through the old caf and into the kitchen. They stood behind the counter and it's enclosure. A window sized opening separated them from the zoms. She slid on the counter and sat holding onto Jody's strong hand, eyes scanning the red dots.

-which one is it, Morgan?

-i'm not sure there's a way to tell. They need to come out and I would have to see what was left in the shadows.

-ready?

Jody opened up on a couple of them, which shifted the crowd of them. They were disturbed, but not moving.

-I sense he's in the rear and they huddled around him. Red is red, Mayers. Bring them out. I'll take him out.

-you should get up higher, so you can see over them. You're like 3 feet tall.

-4' 10, she corrected him.

She climbed through the window and stood on the counter, which left her out in the open but definitely higher up. She scanned the red for the one, but he remained illusive, stuck in the mass of dead.

-better. go ahead. one bullet is all it takes.

-what if he comes with them? How we getting out of here? What if-

-D woulda shot them by now.

-I thought you wanted Antonio. not D. He remarked.

-Don't be cruel to me, please. I am already sad, I don't need that shit.

He shimmied through the window and stood beside her.

-I'm sorry. I would feel better if I was out here with you. Where are we running if they come?

-shoot out the window and bail. right cause it's closest. I always have an exit strategy. trust me, Mayers.

She waited patiently. What was he waiting for? She took his left hand in her left hand and she fired.

-look for him in the back...fuck they're fast...

-one second...hold on...

-Jody...

-one sec...hold on... His voice calm as ever, which read different from his heart rate, which was racing. How do these kids hide their fear so easily?

They advanced on her. Not enough space between them and the death. Julia hated guns, but this one was easy to get used to. She would have preferred 2 hands, but he had a grip on her left that was crushing her fingers. Jody looked in the dark at the red dot that didn't move. He fired and they halted instantly. She severed their connection and tended to her hand, flexing and extending her fingers.

"This is too fucking easy." He said. "Think every nest is like this?"

"God dammit," She cursed.

"Your hand. I'm sorry, Morgan."

"Not the fucking hand. Why did it take me this fucking long to figure this out?!"

"Um, you weren't with me." He shrugged, chuckling in his arrogant way.

"No. All the fucking experience she has clearing and killing and-why now?"

"The other one's usually drunk." Jody mentioned.

"I come up with my best ideas drunk, Jody."

"I know. You said you were, what? 19. Fresh eyes?"

"Possibly. Fresh eyes. I ain't ever seen anything like this before. That fire shit was outta this world. I would have never done that. 10 years ago...never. Hunt at night? That's fucking crazy. You're blind at night."

"You are not a patient woman. Once you get an idea, you run with it, you-"

"Don't think. I know. I never think things through beyond the moment."

She took a seat and opened up her pouch next to the 9mm, which she still carried. She pulled a smoke out and lit up. She handed him one as well. Jody was a smoker. Julia gave him a gentle push off the counter. "Bring the pain, Jo. We don't have all day." She waited as he put silent bullets in all the heads. This was monotonous, boring even. She kept an eye on their surroundings. No red, so she kept an eye and an ear out for human energy.

"Mayers, I am gonna fucking kill you." She said as they made their way back to the intersection where he'd parked the jeep. They stood where the jeep had been and looked around them. Nothing. Completely stranded and they appeared to be the only humans, living or dead, in their vicinity. "Did you leave the keys in the damn jeep?"

"I -uh-maybe." Jody replied, reaching in his empty pocket.

"You made it that fucking easy? You made it that fucking easy, Jody?" She asked, stomping her feet. "We got no gear, Jody."

"My mistake. I-"

"Mistake. Did you think we were alone out here?" She yelled. "Zoms don't steal fucking cars."

"Morgan is gonna be pissed."

"The Morgan in front of you is pissed."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"We could have taken out ten more nests alone, Jody. Fuck. My pack is in the fucking jeep, Jody, my book, Jody."

"We'll get another book."

"Where?!" She screamed. "Jody, there's things you don't understand. How am I supposed to communicate with her if I don't have my fucking book. It's how we communicate, Jody."

"Who?"

"Me and the other. Why do you think I keep records? For my health? It's a form of communication between time and space. When she comes back, how is she gonna know? How am I supposed to know?"

"I'll tell her."

"Son of a bitch." She mumbled. "I need my book."

"So when you write it all down, it's not a hobby or a journal or you keeping a historical record?"

"It's how I know what's going on. I can pass notes to Chess or whoever. It's been our way since the farm house. It's a cheat sheet. I have a specific way of doing it. Red in the margins, or notes in the margins are the high lights next to the paragraphs of explanation. I have a hundred of them in a stack at home in boxes in my closet. Full." She screamed. "I have hundreds of them, empty, at home."

"It's a map?"

"Yes, like a paper map. And now-it's gone."

"What farmhouse?" He asked.

"I will not give you a history lesson. It's too far back."

"So 19 year old you is at home with books."

"Yes. I have been doing this for years. There's books places I haven't even been yet."

"Places you haven't been yet?"

"Yes. That's what I said. This has been going on for years. This-I never know where I will arrive or when and usually I am ill."

"You sick now? The 19 year old?"

"Yes. Kinda. Sick and pregnant. Diabetic and pregnant. I'm asleep now. Next to Jayson. When I dream, time matches up. When I have the infection, time passes here so fast and it stagnates there."

"When did you get here?"

"When I was infected. I got sick about a month ago. 5 weeks ago maybe. But here, I got here when I got pregnant with Antonia."

"Shit. That's a long time ago."

"I got better and I woke up at home. I recovered at home. I been awake there for the last 3-4 weeks. I only was out about 10 days. And spent a couple years here."

"So when you wake up?"

"She'll be back. With no notebook and you are going to pay for that. How fast can you run?"

He grinned. "Faster than you."

"Good. That'll give you some time. Cause I do not run, but if I am angry, I will give chase."

"So when she's back I explain and then run."

"Makes perfect sense but don't get too far ahead because she doesn't know where she is."

"Ok."

"Where is she now?"

"No clue. Ask her." Julia replied. "Hey, I want Tia back here. If I can see the leader, so can she and since my Alex is gone..."

"I want Tia back here too."

"I'm sure for different reasons." She giggled. "Hey, I gotta go. Wanna feel?" She smiled, grabbing his hand.

"Oh, that's nice."

"Know what that is?"

"I don't but it feels awesome." She unwrapped her fingers from Jody's hand, but Jody didn't leave go. "No, don't leave go, Julia. Damn. It feels good. What is that?"

"That is-"

She woke to Jayson's head between her legs. "Wake up, baby." He called.

"Aahhh, I'm awake." She breathed, stretching. She felt his hand, strong in her palm. "Jay, I'm coming baby." She called, arching her back as he licked her clit. She felt his hands beneath her ass. Who's hand...

-aaahhhh, fuck....leave...

-how? that's the feeling? Damn....

"Jayson, baby. Don't freak out ok." She said, legs still shaking. She left Jody's hand go, holding Jay's head beneath the sheet.

"I'm not freaking out. Want more?"

"Um...in a minute. Come up here and don't freak out ok. I can explain this."

Jay's mouth kissed back to her chest and he poked his head out from beneath the sheet. "Jody?" He said, looking through the dim light. He stood tall and dirty and awkward blocking the lamp light at the bedside.

"You know me?"

"Julia, dammit." He sighed. "You, upstairs. Give us like ten minutes."

"Just ten?" He laughed.

"Go on, help yourself to the food."

"Food. In a fridge?"

"I ain't been laid in a minute, so leave." He looked back to Julia. "I don't even wanna know, Jules."

She kissed him, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Please, Jay." She urged. When he entered her, she remembered what she'd been missing for the last two years.

Jody nearly sampled all the food in the fridge, but settled finally on the ice cream. "Hey, you look different." He observed, pointing at her with the spoon as she arrived to the kitchen.

"19." She said, looking at the clock. Jay followed her upstairs and got out her kit. He stuck her finger and wrote the sugar in the book. "Bite." She said, leaning toward the ever present and ever handsome Jody Mayers. He spooned her some vanilla ice cream. "What's the number, Jay?" She asked.

"80. I'm glad we're up early or you would be lower at our normal time. Want me to make you something?"

"Not hungry."

"Why's he here?"

"Not sure." She answered, hearing Tavin up moving around. She got up and started the coffee. "When Tav's done, we'll get you some clothes and you can get cleaned up. You smell." Julia said to Jody.

"Where's Tia? Is she here?"

"Ha. Funny. You realize she's six, right?"

"I would still like to meet her."

"You're gonna meet everybody." Jay said, popping toast in the toaster. He poured Julia some juice and set the glass in front of her, then her toast with butter and jelly. She ate.

"They won't wonder who I am?"

"You're not our first visitor. They'll understand. Right, Jay?"

"Yeah, usually it's the other way around. How'd he get here, Jules?"

"You're Jayson? The legendary Keller?"

"Legendary? I doubt that. But I am Jayson, yes."

"You're the one they talk about. Tia talks about you a lot. So does this one. How do you know me?"

"I met you. I may have looked like Alex at the time."

Jody ate the remainder of the half gallon of ice cream as Julia readied lunch for Tavin and got his breakfast out. When he came downstairs, dressed for work, he was surprised at the visitor, but wasn't surprised at the same time. "You're the Jody." He shook his hand and sat and ate breakfast. "You know she's six, right?" He asked, spooning cereal in his mouth.

"I know. Can I have some coffee? What's for lunch and dinner?"

"How long's he staying? How'd he get here?" Tavin asked, looking at Julia.

"Long story. A dream. I don't know how long. I'll ask Alex how to get him back there."

"How's the sugar?"

"80." Jay answered.

"You eat?"

"Toast, yes."

"Lunch." Tavin said. "Make sure she eats lunch."

"I will. I will. Gosh." She rolled her eyes. "I was told to eat and I will." She eyed Tavin hard, reminding him of the night before. Her short and sweet conversation with Chess.

"You're in a good mood. Get laid, Red?"

"I had a good morning. Me and Mayers here figured out how to take out the nests. I know their weakness."

"Hell yeah, Morgan." He said with some enthusiasm.

"Fresh eyes, Mayers." She grinned, high fiving her partner. "Oh, and yes, I got some dick."

"Finally." Jay mumbled.

"You do know we left you there in the intersection alone, right?"

"Well, damn." She sighed. "I'm a survivor. Psycho remember. They'll go out for her. Chess will."

"That Morgan will get the jeep back." He laughed. "Hey, whatcha wanna do with this, Morgan?" He asked, pulling the gun from beneath the table. The knife he pulled off his waist.

"Hey, hey. What the fuck." Tav said, eyeing the weapon. Jay was as curious as his brother as they looked at it. "How's this work?"

Julia reached for it and held it up. "Bullets come out silent like -whoosh, whoosh- beautiful weapon." She grinned. "Small, compact, but will blast a hole in shit like a shot gun. Girl friendly. No kick." She was excited. "Hey, Tav, the kid's gonna need some clean clothes and a shower. Wanna help him out? Take the gun and put it up, please."

"Yeah, what are we doing with it?"

"I wanna give it to Chess." She answered. "He can drop by on the way back to base. He's up with Macy."

"She's here too?"

"No. She's at school. He's there for a few days." Julia answered.

"Why isn't he here with you?" He asked. Julia pointed at Jay.  "Oh, so the marriage isn't on right now?"

"No." Julia answered. "Tav, come on." She urged. "Quit playing with the gun. It's not a toy."

Tavin took Jody upstairs and handed off some clothes and put the gun up. He left for work and Julia woke the kids, one by one, dragging Tia out of bed with a typical argument. "I can't carry you. You're too big."

"Mommy Karen and Daddy Cal carry me." She argued.

"I'm not Mommy Karen. I'm mommy Julia. And mommy Julia doesn't carry you. You're too big."

"You too small."

"Watch your mouth." She snapped, directing her to the bathroom. "Get dressed and come down with the brush and your shoes."

"K."

Jody played with the TV remote and flipped through the channels. It was as if the world woke up and  had been on hold the whole time. "Joe, you remember the date, first night?" Jay asked.

"Um, not exactly. I was 8." He answered. "My world went from transformers and mine craft to zombies real fast. The whole world went dark."

"Was it hot, cold, warm?"

"Um, hot. Very hot. No AC. It smelled bad."

"That is awesome." Julia said. She dropped to the basement and got her notebook. She climbed onto a bar stool and sat at the counter.

"Why is that awesome?" He asked.

"It's summer. A year and a half." Julia said. "The fields. They're already planted. Thank fuckin God. I do not wanna plant a fucking field again."

"Neither do I." Jay agreed.

Footsteps coming down, two sets. Julia, too swooned at the sight of Jody in the living room. Tia followed them a moment later. All hair, looking like medusa.

"Hi, there. Who are you?" Julia, too inquired, staying in the living room.

"Yo, who is this?" Alex asked.

"Jody."

"Well, hello, Jody. Where did you come from?"

Julia, too had a type and Jody was everyone's type.

"Jersey." He answered flatly, looking around her to Tia. Julia placed the girl on the stool and went to work on the hair. Same fight as usual. "Hi, there. Who might you be?" Jody asked, approaching Tatia.

"Tatia." She answered, scrunching up her face with each knot that Julia brushed out. "Who are you?"

"I'm Jody."

"Jodeeee." She giggled. She addressed him the same way. Only a smaller voice. "From Jerseeeee."

"It's a pleasure to meet such a pretty girl." He smiled. He could see the similarity, but she was so young. He backed off her, looking to Julia, too who was still drooling. "And who are you?"

"I'm Julia, too." She answered. "Jody from Jersey. You staying? Visiting or what?" She smiled, cocking her head to the side. Julia, too's entire body came to life with the boy from Jersey standing in front of her.

Jay nudged his brother in the kitchen. "You seeing this?"

"Jody. You brought him?" Alex asked.

"Not on purpose." Julia answered. She directed her attention to Julia, too. "Go eat breakfast, Jules?"

"Where is mommy Karen? She don't brush my hair like this."

"You see her anywhere?" Julia asked, pulling the hair into a tail. Next she applied the shoes and when Tavin came downstairs, he took her off to school.

As soon as Tia was out the door, Jay took Julia's hand. "Hey, Jody, make yourself at home. No zombies here so relax and have fun." He looked at Julia. "You, come with me."

Jody went back to the TV remote and had a distracted conversation with an overtly interested Julia, too. He didn't see Julia or Jay till it was nearly time to get Tia, when they went up for a shower. Jay came down dressed and disappeared out the door running late to get Tia.

"You ok? Need anything? I should have left you with the laptop." Julia asked, flopping on the sofa next to a sleepy Jody.

"Were you fucking all that time?"

"Uh, yeah." She answered. "You miss Tia?"

"Yes." He answered fast.

"We gotta bring her back. We need her. If you get there before me for some reason, we need Tia. We need her vision. She's like me."

"I'll tell them."

"We did it, Jody." She sighed. "You look exhausted. Wanna go to sleep?"

"Yeah, I am. I been up two days, Morgan."

"Call me Julia here, ok. Lay down. I'll get a cover for you and I'll feed you when you wake up. What would you like that you haven't had in a long ass time?"

"Tacos. Soda. Pizza. Ice cream. A gallon of ice cream."

"What flavor, Jody?"

"Don't care." He answered.

Chess stood in the kitchen looking at Mayers in disbelief. He looked at the weapon laying on the kitchen table in as much disbelief as he looked at Mayers. He listened as they detailed the nest leader theory. A dominant zom that led the nest.

"That doesn't help me much, Julia." He said, admiring the gun. "I have no one on the team that can see like you. So unless you're running baby bump first into a fucking nest, then we are still at a loss. This fucking weapon though."

"I could do that, Chess, if you let me bubble on the calls."

"Jules, no. The last time..."

"I know, but if you need me, then you can call to me, my Chess."

"Is Jayson at work? Where is everyone?"

"Alex is upstairs and Tia is with mommy Karen and, get this, Daddy Cal. Tav's out with Kell."

"Good, downstairs." He said, taking Julia's hand.

"Chess, are you crazy?" She smiled. "If we get caught..."

He looked at Mayers. "You. Keep your fucking mouth shut. It's an order."

"Yes, Sir." He nodded. "I thought there was no marriage."

"You are not trained to have an opinion, Mayers."

"Yes, Sir."

"You, get naked." He said, motioning toward the basement. "We got time, right? Enough time?"

"I think." She answered.

Her clothes came off as they got to the basement. "I missed you. Macy's pussy is not the same." He said, picking her up and carrying her to the bed.

"Well, thanks, I guess."

"Macy is not my wife." He shrugged, placing her on the bed as he lay above her. "You want the ring?" He asked, undoing his pants.

"You got it?"

He pulled it from his pocket. "You ready for me, my Julia?" He asked.

"Yes, my Chess. I am always ready for my husband." She answered, sliding her ring on her finger.

"Always ready for me?"

"Always, my Chess." She answered, looking up at him.

"Do you want me because I'm me or because I trained you?"

"Both." She answered. "I want you because I love you."

"I can't do this." He said. "Not here. I-this is too weird."

"What?" She asked, confused. "There is nothing weird about this or us, but as you wish, Chess. May I get up?"

"You don't care either way?"

"Of course I do. But you brought me home and released me. I asked you what you wanted of me."

"Stop talking like that."

"I'll be quiet then."

"Do you do everything I ask or say to do?"

She laughed. "Let's not get carried away, Chess."

"If I asked you to do a cart wheel." He smiled.

"Fuck you." She spat at him.

"There she is. This is the one I want. Stay there."

"The one you want?"

"I want the bitch wife. Where is she? I wanna fuck my bitch wife."

"You trying to piss me off?"

"Yes."

"It's working."

"I want this Julia not future Julia."

"Ok. Then fuck your wife, asshole or get out of my basement. I got other shit I could be doing."

He dropped over top of her. "There she is." He said, pushing inside of her.

"You want the slut, my love?" She asked as he fucked her.

"Yes, the slut. I want the slut."

"Well, you could have said that." She sighed, feeling his length inside her, going deeper. He quickened the pace and she met him with her hips as he moved. His hands took hers and held them above her head as he thrust into her his final few times till he pulled out and came on her, using his hand to finish. "What the hell are you doing?" She asked, "I was close."

"Not coming on the kid, Julia."

"You came on the kid in the lab." She reminded him.

"That was different." He shrugged. "You were mine in the lab. Stay there."

Julia lay, staring at her ceiling. He returned to her with her bath towel and cleaned her between her legs. A habit he developed in the lab. "A word of advice there, lover." She said, removing her ring, watching him as he wiped her down. He picked up her clothes and brought them to her. "When you want the slut, you do not hand me the ring. The slut has a different meaning, which means you reminded me of my place and I have done nothing to need reminding."

"Jesus Christ, you and your rules."

"Your rules, Chess. It's very exciting when you make me earn the ring. It's like a very gratifying punishment. Usually there's more begging involved."

"I'm new to this. Get dressed please."

"You may want to think about this whole room thing. Come up with some ideas of your own. Surprise me."

"So I show you the ring and don't give it to you or what?"

"Surprise me. You are very creative with our sex. I don't know where or why or how? Maybe you read a book or something? All I know is I came home from Virginia and walked into that room. Now, you have said that I came up with Vegas. But I don't see how I could have because that was not my version of Vegas."

"I have never even thought of anything remotely near what you have showed me."

"Well, somehow you do. You have been in the room. You have seen it. I don't even know where all that stuff came from. It's not in my books because I wasn't there. I was running around Virginia at the time."

They returned to the kitchen, the gun and Jody who sat with headphones plugged into the lap top.

"He needs to go home."

"Alex and I don't know how to return him, Chess. Not like I bought him at Walmart and I can just return him."

"Go to bed with him."

"The fuck I will. No. I got enough problems. Unless you're giving me permission, because I may consider it." She smiled holding onto Chess and looking at Jody with his headphones on. "We could both maybe...you know."

"No. I meant he arrived via dream, he can return that way."

"Take him to the marines, Chess. Along with the gun. The kid's been trained. He's zom slaying in Jersey. We did a massive nest a few days ago. He'd eat that shit up."

"Cute. How will I explain this? You're safer with the kid here. Send him home or assimilate him into society."

"Awe, I kinda like having him around. He's very nice, good with Tia. I think she's fond of him."

"Where is the brother? I want a drink."

"You're not going home?"

"No. I may torture you all weekend."

Two weeks passed and Jody gravitated toward Jayson being they were close in age and personality. Tia had chosen a commonly decent boy that had the stuff of her brothers. He and Jayson were friendly, got along and were very easy with each other. Jody became a fixture in the household. He fit in. Julia, Jay and Tavin liked this kid and were pleased with Tia's choice in a boyfriend. Jody was awed by Karen's presence as they occasionally saw each other in passing. Karen spent more time with Cal and at his new place than she did home with them. Karen had more questions than she got answers when it came to the attractive Jody.

He was up with the birds and out with Jayson when he went running. Neither liked friendly conversation that early in the morning. As the days passed they asked less and less when he'd be leaving and Jody's presence alone got Julia, too out of their house. Alex had had enough of her and put her out, sent her home. She spent too much time drooling over him and Alex was only looking for a reason to get the girl out. He even thanked him for dropping in so he could end it with a good reason as opposed to the real reason-he was bored with the girl. He felt sorry for her, wanted to help her out and he wanted to be her friend, but she was too close for comfort.

Julia had followed up with her doctors, had more tests and had more blood drawn by all of them. She had to take insulin as well. How she managed to go from blood sugar that was too low to blood sugar that was too high was baffling to her. Nonetheless, she had gotten the hang of checking her sugar at regular times and injecting herself with insulin with each blood sugar reading. She was covered in small bruises from needle sticks and her fingers hurt and she hated every second of it. She was running out of space to stick a needle. Despite the regular finger sticks and the insulin, her sugars were still out of range. She doubted they would ever be normal. Regardless, she stuck her finger, then stuck herself and repeated the whole thing every day. Sometimes when she gave up, Tavin would do it all for her.

"It's be easier if you were fat, Red. You got no fat to stick." He said frustrated with the skinny arms and legs.

Her lack of weight gain had troubled him too.

"I told you. The virus fucked up my intestines. I only eat cause Chess told me to."

"Maybe McGill can suggest something. Has he seen this with others who had lived through this? When do you go see the lab doctor?"

"Next week. Chess is taking me."

"He is, huh?"

"Yes."

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"Tav, why are you asking me this?"

"Curious." He replied. "I do extra too, Red."

"Would you like to do extra with me? Is that why you ask? Or are you flirting or are we talking? I never know with you."

"All of the above."

 "I can see how damn irresistible I look. Pale and bruised and skinny."

"You always been pale and skinny." He smiled. "Occasionally, you've been bruised."

"What would the point be? To make me love you all over again and get hurt all over again or hurt you all over again? Or just cause it's there?"

"It's weird. It's always when we can't find words to say what we mean."

"I can find the words. You can't. Maybe you could just tell me you're worried about me and you're scared something's gonna happen to me? Maybe you could say you can't find with her what you find in me? Maybe you could say you don't know what the fuck you're doing? Maybe you could say you feel so out of touch with your feelings, you need me to express them for you?"

"Ok. All of that."

"Maybe you could just hug me and tell me you love me? I think it would mean the same thing." He sat still in his seat at the table. "It is a shame you would rather take me to bed and talk that way instead of hugging me and saying you love me."

"You know I fucking love you, Red."

"Not love me like that. I mean love. Normal, nonsexual love."

"It's all the same. You know that."

"It should be, but you are different. That's your fuckin problem with her too. It's been your problem with every girl you ever had feelings for. It's how you were back then. It's how you are now and, guess what? It's how you are a decade from now."

"You are the weirdest family I have ever known." Jody said, coming in the kitchen for a drink. "I thought my brothers were weird. They have nothing on you people. I mean I love it here and I think you all are really cool people, but the things I have heard and seen the last three weeks blows my mind."

"Imagine living it." She replied dryly. "Welcome to the family, Jody."

"Julia, I can't believe you all raised my girl. How is she normal?"

"Tia's normal?" Tavin asked Jody.

"Tia is 100% normal."

"Our Tia turns out normal."

"Yes, really. The kids are alright."

"We are so beyond fucked up. And they're ok?"

"Yeah. You sound relieved, Tavin."

"I am."

"Well, is Jody normal? He's a good guy, right?"

"Yeah. I like this kid."

"Well, that's how our kids are. Similar." Julia told him. She changed the subject, bringing him back to the point. "So if you'd like to go up, I will. Chess, said do as the brother says. I could clarify with him, but it sounded like-"

"What? Why does Chess's opinion even matter with what we do?"

"You don't want to know." Jody said. "The little bit I know is disturbing."

"Just what I said. 'do as the brother says'. It matters."

"Did you have to ask?"

"A matter of formality is all." She replied.

"What did he do to you in that lab?"

"It has nothing to do with the lab."

"Am I a senior officer in this squad or whatever?"

"You are the sector two leader."

"Is that like a mayor or something?"

"No. You own sector two."

"Am I military now?"

"You are the sector leader. You are a medic first. You are-"

"Rank. Do I have a rank, Jody?"

"Yes. The same as Chess actually."

"He is correct. You command the same respect as he. Do the same things, but you do it differently."

"Jody, does she have a rank?"

"No, Sir." He replied. "She just is."

"You follow her command?"

"Yes. As directed by Chess. She is O.I. We all follow her command."

"What's O.I.?"

"Original infantry." Jody and Julia replied in unison.

"You are not O anything. You're 19 years old, pregnant and a housewife, Julia and you command no one."

"Ok, Tavin. I realize that now." She giggled. "Housewife, though."

"Then how does Chess, who is not a sector leader command and have control over you?"

"He does."

"Jody, clarify."

"It's surrender." He replied.

"Clarify surrender."

"Um, Vegas? Do you understand Vegas?"

"Like Las Vegas."

"Tavin, babe, you know exactly what Vegas is."

"Are you like some kind of submissive sister wife thing?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you just say that then? Instead of giving me a runaround?"

"I don't believe I was."

"Ok, so the Chess that I know right now hasn't done a damn thing to you? The one in the future has? So after my brother dies, he does whatever he does and now that carries over to here and now?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He owns me, Tavin."

"Oh, no. The Julia I know would not have that."

"I am no longer the Julia you know. I spent two years learning new ways. He had to train me all over again and I am quite content this way."

"Does he beat you?"

"No, Tavin."

"Jody?"

"Not that I know of, no. She is free to do as she pleases."

"He owns you? Why?"

"Do I really need to explain this to you?"

"I think you do."

"It started a long time ago. Long before the zombies. After we killed Caleb Downing. Jay was all Jay and freaking the fuck out and stressing. He was worried about jail of all things and he asked Chess to do what?"

"If anything happened to him, make sure you were ok."

"Then I got pregnant with Jayla and he asked Chess to do what?"

"The same thing. Make sure that you were taken care of."

"So then all hell broke loose and we wound up in zombie world. We went to Green Street first, then we went to the first house. When we were at that house me and Jesslyn were fucking with each other heavy and we came up with the rules. Do you remember the rules, Tavin?"

"Yes, if one of us died, then the one who survived-the one who survived claimed the girl. But Julia..."

"So as the story moves along we move to the farm house where what happens?"

"A lot of shit happens."

"Yeah, but we married and he put that ring on my fucking finger and before he did so, what did Chess do?"

"He asked your dad if it was alright."

"So what...not my dad. He went and he asked who if it was ok to marry me?"

"Jay."

"Then what happened, Tav?"

"You got married and you came back here."

"And we did what? For the second time?"

"Got married."

"When me and you left the house the night we graduated, what did Chess do before you and me left?"

"Oh, come on, Julia."

"He took my rings off my finger and he said 'Go'."

"This is the biggest bunch of bullshit."

"He released me to you. What would have happened if Chess hadn't taken my rings off and released me to you? Looking back on it, the answer is simple as it was not up to me it was up to him. Which brings us to current day. Where's my ring? And where am I? And where is he?"

"He's got the rings."

"He has a ring. Not both. He has mine on him. He carries it on him at all times. The other ring, Tavin. You gotta know where it is now."

"Did he give it to Macy?"

"Yes. You know who put all these ideas in his head? Kelly did. Kelly and Chess had the universe talk. She told him the future. It got in his head and it's still there. It's in its infancy now, but ten years from now...here we are."

"So you're on loan to Jayson and Chess is lord of the rings?"

"Loan? I am not a car." She laughed. "Anyway, to you, too, from what he said. I should clarify that."

"Julia, this makes absolutely no sense."

"This is all Jay's idea. It snowballed into this."

"I doubt that this is what Jayson meant when he asked his best friend to make sure you were alright if he got locked up over Downing."

"It took on a life of its own, Tavin. A very satisfying and special life of its own judging from how I live a decade from now. I am completely taken care of, so is my kid. I have a good marriage with a man I love. I want for absolutely nothing. Remember when we were at the farmhouse and all we did was work our asses off to have a comfortable and complete life? Before the jump."

"Yes, I was there for some of that."

"That is the life. Comfortable and complete."

"I have so many questions." He grinned.

"You would like for me to answer them?" She asked.

"Kneel." He said merely to see if she'd do it.

"I only kneel before one man and you, my friend, are not that man." She smiled. "You would kneel before me." She stood, staring at him. "You wish to play games, let's play."

"Oh, baby, I could think of a million things...kneeling in front of you is only one of them."

"If we were alone, you would be on your knees, Tavin."  She snickered, sitting back in her seat. She relaxed, withdrew the tension for him. "You had my submission already. You let it go."

"How? When?"

"Oh my God, how quickly you forget." Julia laughed at him. "I will leave the knife in the drawer next time, Tav?"

"The weekend." He shook his head, trying to make sense of this. "Does Jay know any of this?"

"Nope. If he asks I will tell him. He has not asked." She replied. "So, the point...should I clarify with Chess-"

"Clarify nothing. Do not tell any of this insanity to Jayson."

Chess arrived to the house and picked her up for the doctor appointment. He drove her to the doc's new office in a new building temporarily until the lab would be discreetly relocated. The clusterfuck of media coverage and speculation on the underground internet had demanded more secrecy and more OPSEC as Chess called it. He had no idea where the new lab would be located and he would not be informed either. An entire set of new protocols were in motion.

The new office suite was located in suburbia and Dr McGill had settled in. He welcomed the both of them into his office and he ran the gamut of questions and wrote down the answers. He drew their blood and he gave them both physicals. Julia took time to inform him of her pregnancy progress and her current diabetic regimen. She brought her sugar diary with her and he looked over the regimen. He had nothing to add to it and he had no words of wisdom. Her condition would not change until she gave birth. Dr McGill had her medical records from all her physicians in Maverick. She didn't question how or why. When their time with the doctor ended, Julia handed him a small pink spiral bound notebook and advised him to read it. It was what she had promised, a plan to keep Trudy and all three of their sons safe from harm during the first nights.

"You do not need to lose her or any of your children." Julia said, shaking his hand. "If you have any questions, you know how to get in touch with me."

"Yes, of course. I will read this over. Thank you."

He didn't believe her. Hopefully the information in the book would change his mind. She spent three days cyber stalking his family she spent an additional three days coming up with that plan.

Chess drove them toward home, but stopped short of the Pennsylvania border. He parked at a restaurant and he bought her lunch, had her check her sugar. He observed her draw up insulin and inject into her arm. She placed her kit back in her bag and they had conversation over their meal. Jody, for a while, had been their topic of conversation. He obviously was not leaving any day soon. Jayson took him to the pizza shop and got him a job under the table for some spending money. He could eat all the pizza he desired. He also took him to a gym, which was what he requested. He worked out in his spare time. Got himself a cell phone, reported to Julia regularly, which she informed him he didn't have to do. He was given a brand new identity, Raymond Morgan. With Ray away in college, they felt comfortable letting him take over in name only. He still preferred to be addressed as Jody, but with Ray's middle name being Joseph, there wasn't much of a stretch between fact and fiction. Jody took well to his new life, but missed his old one and he missed Tia terribly.

Before leaving the restaurant, he ordered a bowl of fruit to go.

"Fruit, Chess?"

"For later. You'll need some sort of snack I was told. Before bed."

"We are staying over night?"

"Yes. We are. Our appointments are rather involved. Dr McGill's orders." He said, looking at her. "Believe the lie that you can't talk about, Julia."

"Ok. Where are we going?"

"I wanna spend the night with you. We discussed this before we even left the lab, Jules. Weeks ago."

They left the restaurant, holding hands. He held open the car door for her, letting her sit in her seat and he closed her in. The hotel he'd chosen was down the block. He'd booked them a room on the 3rd floor and she was so excited to see the hot tub. That was for her. He set his pack on the floor next to hers and watched as she walked toward the hot tub.

"Julia." He called. She turned to face him.

"Kneel." He said, testing the water with her. He'd googled this. She should already know this. Would she do it? He waited as she removed her clothes, eyes looking around the room. She chose to kneel by the door, nude, sitting back on her feet. "I'll be damned." He said under his breath. Her head was hung and she looked at the floor. Her body was relaxed and she didn't move in the slightest. Only her breathing, the rise and fall of her chest. How long would she stay there? He didn't ask. He went about his business, removing his uniform and putting on shorts. He turned on the TV, plugged in their phones and he opened his pack and he pulled out the bag he brought for her. Periodically he looked at her and she was still. He opened the bag and he laid out the outfit he bought for her, the white small cottony nightgown, matching panties that would cover her small behind. She liked her behind covered. Her style.

"Let your hair down." He said, noticing her hair was pulled up and away from her face. He preferred her hair down. She reached up and pulled out the hair tie, fluffed her hair with her hands and went back to the pose. The hair tie sat on the floor in front of her. "Stand." He said. She stood. "Kneel." He said. She knelt. What the hell was going on? He almost felt bad for her, but she didn't seem to mind this in the least. She said absolutely nothing the entire time, quite mute. What was she thinking?

"Look at me." He said. She looked at him across the room as he stood by the hot tub. He didn't know what to do to her. His google search hadn't got that far.

"May I speak?"

"No." He replied. He ran the water in the tub and filled it for her. He walked to her, holding his hand out to her. "Stand."

She took his hand and he led her to the tub. "Hop in. Enjoy." He said, holding her hand as she climbed over the edge and sat down.

"May I speak?"

"Yeah, sure."

"You've spoken with Tavin?"

"I have. You told him about release?"

"I have."

"Why, Jules?"

"You released me to him as well. You never said I could not discuss release."

"I never released you to him. I wouldn't do that."

"You said to 'do as the brother says'."

"Julia, it's important you manage the blood sugar. What else have you done with the brother?"

"I have done nothing with Tavin. He has not requested that I comply with anything other than meals."

"You won't."

"Are you revoking the release?"

"I am. And you will not discuss anything that we do or speak about. It's private."

"Ok."

"Julia you know the difference between private and not private."

"I do."

"Act like it."

"Yes, of course, Chess."

"Julia, babe, this is all very strange for me. I'm trying to make sense of it."

"Ok."

"Do you want me to release you to Tavin too?"

"Chess, I would like to speak freely."

"Then do it. Don't fuck with me. That's not how we are."

"I would like to be released from this altogether. From everything and from everyone. What I am trying to say is, I would like to be let go."

"Julia, you have it. I never took it from you."

"As you know, telling the difference is difficult for me. I'm still adjusting and having my Jayson alive and not being able to honor a fidelity to him is conflicting."

"I want you to do what you want. You always have."

"You can't take care of me here and now. It won't work here. I want Jayson as he wants me. Until I make a choice to want someone else." She paused. "You realize I can't-umm..."

"Can't what?"

"Control and be controlled at the same time. Does that make sense?"

"No. Please don't explain it to me." He said from his seat at the edge of the hot tub. "Before I agree to this. I need one more night."

"You don't need me at all, Chess. You have Macy."

"Stand up." He said. She rose from the water. He helped her over the tub and to the floor mat, so she would not slip. His demeanor was confident, calm. She stood wet and dripping before him. He backed her to the bed. "You are mine till I tell you different. If I want you one more night or a hundred more nights, it is up to me."

"Yes, Chess."

"I come before any man, Julia Morgan." He tried that line out on her, knowing he'd reminded her several times in a place he hadn't lived. It worked then and he wondered as the words escaped his mouth if that would work now.

"Yes, Chess."

"I may not be your future husband, but I am your husband. You'll respect that."

"Yes, Chess. Always."

He spun her around and he bent her over the bed. He slapped her ass. Not too hard, he didn't wish to hurt her. He waited a moment and she didn't hit him back. She didn't utter a word. Lord, what had he done to her? He slapped her again, harder the second time. God, this was turning him on. The fact that she let him was turning him on.

"Do you want your husband, Julia?" He slapped her ass cheek again.

"Yes, please." She cried out as his hand met her flesh.

He wanted her, but held back. Make her wait. She said there was begging involved in this whole ordeal. He slapped her again. "Chess, please." She repeated.

"Are you ready for me, baby?"

"Yes, Chess."

"Stay like that. Don't move." He said. He leaned over her and whispered in her ear. "Think of me inside you. Think of me making you come." Chess considered how strangely good this felt.

"Yes, Chess. Please, babe."

He slapped her reddened ass one final time. "You're gonna wait." He whispered. He was starting to like this new relationship status. He could get used to it.

"May I speak, Chess?" She asked after a half hour of bending over the bed.

"Yeah, go ahead." he replied, watching her from his spot in the hot tub. He'd turned on the TV and had turned on ESPN.

"Can I pee? I have to pee."

"Yeah, go ahead." He answered. When she returned from the bathroom, she assumed the position bent over the end of the bed. "Are you ok like that?"

"Yes."

"Are you still ready for me?" He wondered.

"Yes."

"You're wet?"

"Yes."

"You're still thinking of me inside you?"

"Yes."

"Good girl. Do you want me inside you?"

"Please, Chess."

"You'll wait."

Chess showered, shaved and when he emerged from the bathroom, she was still bent over the bed. He decided to tease her a little before ordering their dinner. He pulled on his shorts and he went to her. He knelt behind her and he kissed her ass cheek that he'd slapped earlier. He kissed the other and he spread her open for his mouth, running his tongue over her. She hadn't lied, she was ready. There was no way all this was his idea. She had to have played a part in this. He had no idea what he was doing, other than being selfish and demanding. When she got close to her orgasm, he withdrew his mouth.

"My Julia..." He said, hearing her pant above him. "Would you like me to make you come?"

"Chess, babe, please. I need."

"You'll wait."

"Chess, please. I'm so close."

He got up and returned to the bathroom to wash his face. He told her to stand, relax. "I thought this was pretty. It looked like you, something you'd wear." He said, handing her the white nighty.

"It is me. Yeah. Thank you."

"Please put it on."

"Sure, babe." She said, kissing his cheek.

"Stay wet. I want that later."

"Of course." She pulled her nighty on and pulled the panties on. "You, uh, you got my pussy aching."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Yes. have you been studying?"

"Oddly enough, no. I did google the kneeling, but other than that-"

"It's all your brain." She kissed him again.

"Oh, no. I didn't say for you to do this. I told you to wait."

"You want me just as badly as I want you." She pointed out.

"I have never wanted you more, but I believe it'll be worth the wait. Correct, Julia?"

"Yes." She grinned, kissing him again, running her tongue around his mouth, his lips. "Yes, my Chess."

"Kneel." He said, getting her away before he bent her over and took her. He wasn't ready for her yet.

Julia went to the door and assumed the position.

"You like fried shrimp, right?"

"Yes, Chess."

"There's this place down the road that makes good shrimp. Me and Cook went there once." She didn't respond, but rolled her eyes. He had a feeling she wasn't supposed to do that, but kept it to himself. "You know I see her. You don't like it do you?"

She remained in her mute state, kneeling by the door. He kind of missed the girl that would fight and argue with him, put him in his place or pick a fight with him. This obedient female was a strange sight. "Speak, Jules." He pulled a tee on and grabbed the car keys.

"Your relationship with Fields is not my concern."

"No, it's not. Are you jealous?"

"No." She replied.

"You sure, cause you're turning an angry red."

"I do not like her. I believe you can do better."

"You don't know her." Julia bit her tongue. Chess could see that she was struggling. He knew what she would say already. Nothing she hadn't said before. "Are you still thinking about me?"

"Yes. I can multitask."

"You're ready?" She hesitated to speak. She lied...he thought. "I could dry fuck you, you know." She dropped the smile. He walked past her and out the door to get their dinner. When he returned, she knelt in the same spot as though she hadn't moved. "You been there the whole time?" He asked, thinking he'd been gone nearly 45 minutes.

"Yes." She answered, thinking he should already know that.

He set the bag down on the table and offered her a hand. "Can you feel your legs?" He asked, helping her up. She didn't answer, but she stretched them out, shaking each one, wiggling her toes.

She nodded in response.

"Sugar." He said, getting their dinner out and setting up their places at the table. Julia fetched her bag from her back pack and stuck her finger, she drew up the insulin and she injected in her leg. She wrote down the result and how much insulin she gave herself, then put everything away. They ate in virtual silence. "You mad at me?"

"No."

"Cause you're quiet."

"It's how I always am, I guess." She shrugged, eyeing the shrimp. They were large fan tailed shrimps and a variety of different kinds. "These are delicious. You and Cookie are right about this." She smiled, taking a bite of coconut battered shrimp.

"Try this one. It's beer battered." He said, pushing one toward her. Her tone of voice using the name Cookie had not been lost on him. Why did he even mention her? "Do I usually leave you sit that long?"

 "Depends. I have gone much longer, usually not kneeling by the door though. You'll figure it out."

"Figure what out?"

"How to keep me thinking of you inside me without sitting by the door."

"I'm sorry, Julia. I should have let you up."

"You have done nothing to be sorry for."

"So if I dipped out for two hours, you'd still be sitting there."

"Yes. I would stretch, maybe work out the kinks, but yes."

"It's strange is all. You wouldn't just get up?"

"No."

"What if I didn't come back at all? How long would you stay there?"

"Chess, you didn't tie me, so I would eventually get up. I would tell you I did or if you found me elsewhere, then you know." She smiled.

"No, I don't know." He argued. "You didn't mind me hitting you?"

"When did you hit me?"

"Earlier. When you were bent over the bed."

"Did you hit me in anger?"

"No."

"I know the difference. If you had hit me in anger, then it's different. I didn't complain, did I?"

"No, but I never hit you before."

"Chess, you have slapped my ass before."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"That's no different."

Julia ate a half dozen shrimp and half her baked potato, then washed her hands. On her way back to her seat, he stopped her and turned her to him as he sat in his chair. She looked so pretty dressed in white and with her hair down over her shoulders, covering her chest. He traced the small bruises on her skinny thighs and then leaned forward touching them on her upper arms. She looked like a pin cushion. He lifted her white nighty over her belly and saw the bruises there too, small pin prick sized purple marks and some fading. His fingers played with the seam of her panties, pulling them back and snapping them over her pelvis. He took her hands, her small finger pads with tiny holes, but her nails a pretty pink. He looked at her feet, toe nails the same pretty pink.

"You're beautiful, Julia."

"Thanks, Chess." When she smiled, her eyes smiled too.

"You don't feel it do you?"

"Beautiful?" She asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

"You know how I feel about my body. It is what it is, but I can't change that."

"You never see what I see."

"I like my hair." She admitted.

Chess stood looking down at her the difference of several inches if that. He swept her hair over her shoulders, dragging his fingertips lightly around her shoulders. How could she not see what he saw? How many times would he tell her she was pretty until she believed it? How many times did he have to tell her he was in awe that she had even looked his way?

"And me?"

"What about you?" She asked, taking his hands from her shoulders and holding them.

"What if I felt about you the way you feel about you?" He placed her hands at her sides, then went back to her shoulders. His hands moved down over her breasts. Through the light cotton, he touched her. He took her hands and placed them over her breasts as his were. She lowered her hands to her sides. "Put them back." He directed her, observing as she held her own small breasts in her own small hands with the manicured pink nails. "Make your nipples hard." He said. She followed his command, rubbing them between her thumb and her first finger till they stood hard off her chest, pressing against the cotton. Chess lifted the nighty over her head and tossed it on the chair behind him. Her hands went back to her chest and her fingers played with her nipples for him. He directed her hands over her stomach, her sides, guiding them over her white skin a bit then back to the nipples till she had the idea of what he wanted from her. She cycled from the chest to the abdomen and her rib cage and back again till he guided her hands back over her ass. She repeated the cycle over again as he watched her, finally guiding her onto the bed where he placed her on her knees and he spread her thighs apart. "Do it again." He said in her ear. He stood at the bedside, removed his shirt and his shorts then sat at the top of the bed watching her as she felt herself, all of herself. Her hand moved of her own volition between her legs and he stopped her, removing it and had her repeat the whole cycle of self touching.

"Chess." She said softly. She reached her hand out to him and he slapped it away. He felt the sting as she put her hand back in motion with the other over her pale white skin.

"How does your body feel, Julia?" He asked.

"Like my body always feels." She replied.

"Look at me and tell me how your body feels." He corrected her.

Julia's eyes met his and she didn't understand what he wanted from her. "It feels warm." She suggested.

"And."

"Soft."

"And look at me and tell me how your body feels." He repeated.

"Good. Nice."

"Reach between your legs and tell me how it feels."

"Wet. Turned on. Hot." She replied, her fingers circling her clit as she answered.

"Stop that." He reminded her.

"Chess, please." She moaned, her hand between her legs. She felt herself begin to throb as her fingers couldn't move and pleasure herself.

"How does it feel?" He repeated.

"Chess, babe." She moaned again.

"Look at me and stop moving your fingers." He demanded.

"Yes, Chess. Babe, I need-"

"Babe," He mimicked her. "Does your body feel good now?"

"Yes."

"Stop moving those fingers, Julia." He ordered.

"Yes, Chess." She kept her hand still.

"How do you feel, my Julia?"

"I'm gonna come, Chess."

"Are you thinking of me inside you?" He grinned.

"Please, Chess."

"My Julia, are you asking me?"

"Yes, Chess. Please. I'm so close."

Julia's small body trembled on her knees. He got to his own knees and he got behind her. He pulled her back onto him. He slid inside easier than he ever had. He held her hair in a firm grip in his hand. "May I come, Chess?" She asked, grinding back on him, moving in rhythm with his waist.

"Not yet."  He replied. "How does this feel, my Julia?" He asked, moving harder inside her. He slapped her ass, pulling her hair, pulling her back, holding her in her place.

"Chess, please. Please." She panted.

He made her wait till he was ready and gave her what she wanted, permission. Release. To let go.

They both let go, laying beside each other, breathing heavy and sweaty.

"You understand now, Julia?" He asked, grabbing her hand, holding it against his chest.

"It's not how you look. It's how you feel." She replied.

"Yeah," He nodded, catching his breath. "Cause you know I'm an ugly motherfucker." he laughed, sitting up on the bed.

"Awe, baby, you cute." She laughed, sitting up next to him. She held out her hand to him and he held onto it. She pulled back. "The ring. I want my ring. Get up and get my ring." She demanded. Chess got up and fetched the ring from his uniform pocket. He placed it on her finger, which made her smile. Once she got her ring back, she was her usual self. She'd fallen from the role she played, let herself be herself and started running the water in the hot tub again.

"Julia, were you acting all that?"

"No, were you?" She asked quickly.

"No." He answered, shaking his head. "That was-"

"Don't question it or try and figure it out." She told him, climbing into the tub.

"So you don't have to ask me to do that now?" He asked, pointing at the hot tub.

"No. Why would I? You gave me thing ring? Jesus, do you want it back?"

"No. No, Julia. No." He smiled watching her as she nearly took it off her finger. "Keep it on."

"I told you not to question it."

"Fine, no more questions." He said, grabbing the remote and taking it to the tub with him. "Hey, you want your fruit?"

"Yeah, please." She nodded.

"What about your sugar?" He asked.

"Can we forget about it right now?"

"No, we can't." He answered, fetching the bowl of fruit from the fridge. He set it on the edge of the tub with the remote and fetched her kit. "Hey, show me how." He opened the kit and she directed him step by step. He saw her wince as her sore finger was pinched by the lancet. He dropped the blood on the strip and he waited the six seconds for the result. "150."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Insulin or no?"

"Yeah, I take it. It's the long acting, but I don't need coverage." She replied. "It's the purple and white bottle." Chess held it up, showing it to her. He pulled a needle out and opened it from its package. She instructed him on how to pull up the medicine into the syringe and he stuck her arm where she pointed. She didn't flinch with that stick at all. He put her kit away and head in the bathroom, washed up and then climbed into bed. He watched her as she ate her fruit in the tub and watched TV.

When her phone buzzed, he read the text.

"Jody. 'we need to talk'."

"He can wait till tomorrow." Julia said, placing a grape in her mouth.

"What if something's wrong?"

"Tav and Jay can deal with it. They are capable of handling Jody overnight."

Jody stood at the counter and handed over the change to his customer. He and Tia had been learning about money during homework and he had to learn it all over again with her. He learned at her side. One of the many things he'd learn at her side. How long would he be separated from her? He was bored and longed for home or war. This is not why he joined the infantry. Although the pizza was an added bonus.

"Hello, Jody." Her voice called.

"Hey, Jules. What's going on?" He answered. The kid from the house. She'd been on him since his arrival. This family had their issues. This kid was, up till a week ago, laying next to Alex. Now she was obviously interested in laying up with him. She was too young. Tia...

"Hey, just wanted to stop in and say hi."

"Well, hi." He leaned on the counter, dipping to her eye level. He knew when girls were interested and here and now in this place that Julia had dragged him with her hand, these girls all were the same. They all had that look. They all had that desire. The streets were like Risk. Everywhere he turned there was a willing and sexually open female population. Home was so much different. Normal girls were so respectable at home. The ones who had families, they demanded respect and formality. These girls had no self respect. "And what can I do for you?"

"Um, I am not with Alex anymore. I-uh- wanna go out with you."

"That's nice, Jules. I think you're sweet. But I got a girlfriend."

"In Jersey?"

"She's in Philly, Jules. If anything changes, you will be the first to know."

Here, he could have a different girl every night. They threw themselves at him.

"A slice of pizza then." She smiled.

"Coming up, Julia." He fetched a slice of pizza and sent her on her way. He sat on the stool at the counter and pulled out his cell phone. He text messaged Julia. -we need to talk- He knew she wouldn't answer being away with Chess, but she'd call when she got the message.

He nearly dialed Jay's phone since Julia was off limits for the moment, but he decided to wait till he got home to speak with him directly. Jody had a wait for Jay to get home. Public transportation was slow. Tavin sat watching TV as Jody waited playing a game on the cell. He didn't like a lot of the past, but the gadgetry occupied his time.

"Whatcha playing over there?"

"Subway surfers." He answered, closing the app. "You got a minute? I have question, Sir."

"If you don't quit calling me sir, Jody..."

"Apologies." He paused. "I have seen the way you are with the females."

"Yeah, how am I?"

"You always have a different one."

"I do, Jody? Where they at, man?" He laughed.

"They're not here. But here I see the way you act with the females here and it's the same. So-"

"What's the question?"

"If I am out of line, tell me. You understand I have a relationship with Tia Keller."

"She's six, Jo. I saw you doing homework. I saw you learning money. I saw you watching Frozen. You do not have a relationship with Tia."

"She is Tatia Rose. She is my small companion. At home, Tia Keller is more than a companion. You understand?"

"Yes."

"The women here are whores, Sir."

"Have you cheated on your small companion?"

"No, Sir. I have not. All I am saying is, well, I find it difficult not to do so. I realize I have stayed three weeks and I have been at war for several months in thankfully what is a mild winter. But I have not had the company of a woman in some time."

"What are you trying to say? You wanna get laid? You wanna stay faithful to your girl? Is Tia the only girl you ever banged out?"

"Oh, no. She is not. I am conflicted as to how long I should wait. What if I am stuck here forever? It is a long wait for my small companion. And by then it may be an awkward and improbable situation as I may see her as a sister as opposed to a female." He paused. "I do not seek companionship. None of these girls ever could measure up to the Princess, Sir."

"Princess."

"I will speak with Julia."

"You'll get the same answer from us. I think you know that. You got one in mind?"

"They are all whores."

"Not all of them. Mine isn't."

"Never sir. The wife is very respectable. I have looked around and there are no others that I have seen. But I do not go many places. They approach me in the gym, on the street, in the pizza shop. Anywhere I go, it is offered."

"I don't take everyone up on the offer."

"No, Sir. We would not have that much time in a day."

"Do what you want, Jody."

Jody returned to his phone and his game and when Jay got home he went through the entire speech all over again.

"You're asking the saint." Tavin shook his head, flicked off the TV.

Jay rolled his eyes. "Do what you want, Jody." Jayson answered.

"Really, Jay?" His response had surprised him.

"If that's what you think of the women here, then you get what you deserve." Jay replied.

"Then send me home. How do I go home?"

"Jump there. Jay, how did you go home? Remember when me and Julia picked up you and Jess at the library?"

"I knew how to jump. Julia taught me how to do it."

"Can you do it now?"

"I never wanted to jump from place to place. It was always Julia dragging me around the darkness. She made me go back. 'trust me, jay' she told me. I was pissed and when I fell asleep I stayed awake and I went home."

"You stayed awake when you were asleep?"

"Yeah, it's how we did it. We stay awake when we go to sleep and we feel around the darkness and go back."

"Can you still do it?"

"I never tried. Where would I go?" He asked. "When you go to sleep, call her and have her take you home. It's that place between asleep and awake."

"Call her?"

"Yes. Call out to her. You're connected to her. Have her drop you off or when you're asleep, connect with Tia through the darkness and have her pull you inside."

"That's where I wanna be."

"Well, go to her. Julia can really explain this to you better. Just know that it is possible. Leave these whores alone."

"He's a romantic." Tavin informed Jody, when Jay went to the basement. "Get your piece of the whore pie, if you want. No one will know."

"Give it more time." Jay called from the basement. "You got all the time in the world. She is my sister."

"Did you know that you can do more with that phone than play games?" Tavin eyed Jody before he head upstairs for the night, looking at his cell screen. He could tell the kid was thinking about his girl and missing her.  "Give me the phone. You have all the girls you need in the palm of your hand. Maybe not the one you want, but I'll show you."

Julia showered after emptying the hot tub. She laid in bed and Chess made love to her again. No commands, no restraint, no demands. She redressed in her nighty he bought for her and when Chess dozed off, she texted with Jody who obviously had a conversation with the Keller brothers. He brought up the subject of jumping, which had surprised her.

-you know how to jump through the darkness. Jayson told me as much. how do I jump?

-it's not so easy

-why haven't we jumped then?

-I have tried in the past and it hasn't worked.

-try again. I want to go home to the princess. we have to stay awake when we sleep, jay told me.

how do I stay awake when I sleep?

-it takes some training. it doesn't happen over night.

you must know where you are going.

-jayson said to call you. can you do this and call me and jump

-Jody, I will try when I fall asleep. Listen for me.

If it doesn't work, then I'll explain it when I get home

you could awaken in the middle of a nest. have you thought about that?

ILY, GN, TTYL

-what's ILY GN TTYL mean

-I love you, good night, talk to you later

-OH Morgan...ILY? ok ILY too GN TTYL

Julia lay next to Chess, figuring they had an early morning ahead of them, wondering why they didn't head out tonight instead of early morning. Julia hated mornings, but was grateful for the break from having to get everyone up and out and ready for the day.  She turned off the TV and the lamp and she lay surrounded by dark and listening to the hum of the heater in the room. She hated being away form her bed, out of her element, but was glad she lay next to Chess.

She hadn't tried jumping in a long time. Jody had been a pure accident. How was she supposed to jump them anywhere? They had made the leap from future to past in that space between asleep and awake as Jay had aroused her with his mouth. If she jumped with him, how would she return? The same way? What had at one time been a valid form of travel to people and a time she wished to visit was now a distant memory. Her skills were rusty obviously as Jody was sitting in her house and not off in the middle of a zombie war in Jersey.

She didn't wish to do the traveling. She didn't wish to jump anywhere. She wanted to lay next to Chess and sleep. But for Jody, who missed Tia, she decided to try. She knew what it was like to lay in a bed alone thinking about a person who couldn't be touched or spoken to or reached. She shut her eyes, then relaxed, getting her body comfortable in order to lay perfectly still. She started counting  backwards from 100, letting a wave of calm float over her body from her toes to her scalp. It took a moment and a few tries to get herself still and motionless enough for the wave to take effect. Years ago this was easy, now it took more concentration.

"Mayers, you there?" She called, hoping to find him. Find his energy...she thought...letting the energy guide her to him or guide him to her. Either way that would be the goal. Once she found his energy, she connected, wrapping herself around him, feeling certain that when he felt her, he'd would know. But the kid was awake. He was awake before too, when they leaped to Maverick. She flooded him with her energy, wondering what on earth the kid was doing that distracted him from her. "Jody."

He materialized in the darkness, yanked him inside it with her. "What are you doing? God, I have been calling you." She asked. She held onto him.

"I was busy." He answered. "I wasn't expecting you. You said when you fell asleep."

"I went to bed." She replied. "You didn't."

"No. Tavin showed me this app on the iPhone. Have you heard of porn hub?"

"I have. Yes. I prefer the real thing." Julia smirked.

"You look cute." He observed, looking down at Julia in her white cotton nighty. It's short length showing the hint of her panties beneath it. "Lab huh?" He grinned, checking out her ass.

"Not quite. Not right this moment, no." She blushed. "Let's go home, Mayers."

"Great. Where is it?"

"Here. I think." She answered, keeping a good grip on him. She doubted she'd lose him, but she'd always held onto Jayson so hard when they traveled. She preferred traveling with Jay. He trusted her more than Jody. He didn't know her well enough. "Let me guide you, please. Jody. I know you're-"

Day light. She shivered once her body adjusted to the cold. She stood at Jody's side in her white nighty. Why she hadn't changed into whatever Julia wore was a mystery to her. If she had known this, she would have worn shoes at the very least. "Where we at, Jody?" She asked, rubbing her pale bruised arms.

He pulled his hoodie and he handed it to her. "Put this on." He told her. "You should have dressed warmer." He went to pick her up.

"What are you doing?" She swatted at his hands.

"You got no shoes, boss." He laughed.

"So you're gonna carry me?" She asked, folding her legs over his arm.

"All 70 pounds of you. My gear is heavier." He snapped, hoisting her into his arms. He noticed her ring when she put her hands in the front pocket of the too large hoodie.

"I can walk."

"There's gotta be something inside one of these houses." He suggested, looking around the small neighborhood street where they stood. The place was falling apart, what was left of it. "We'll find you something, then...I don't know."

"How about I just go home?" She suggested.

"You could. I'll be alright. You go, then." He stood still, waiting for her to disappear like magic.

She couldn't. "Oh, ok. Let's move out then. Um, if he starts waking you like Jay did, then I will have to put you down."

"He wouldn't do that." Julia sighed. "Chess is the hand on the shoulder, 'wake up, Julia, suck my dick Julia' kinda kid."

"I can't believe you two are the leaders of free society."

"I have a hard time believing it most days." Julia admitted.

Jody carried her to the nearest house, kicked open the door. He left her on the door step and head inside to check the place out. He brought her in and she shut the door. The place was ransacked, had been for a long time. He had her sit and pull her legs up beneath the hoodie.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Yeah."

"Why can't you choose?"

"Choose what, Mayers?"

"Among them?"

"I eventually choose among them, Jody."

-Chess, I am fucking freezing, babe, come get us.

Jody found an old blanket and she balked at the idea of having it wrapped around her. She shooed him away with it. "Socks." She stated.

"I'll be back. Stay here."

-Julia?

-yeah, fuck. I am fucking cold. Thank God it is a mild winter. I need clothes.

-where are you?

-I don't know. I am with Mayers.

-Julia, I thought I would never hear your voice again.

-am I dead, Chess?

-I don't know where you are or what happened to you. all I know is you disappeared with him

-we've been home. haven't you come looking for me?

-yes, Julia, we still are looking.

-the school. did you find the dead nests? they stole our jeep. whoever lives near the school.

-the nests. yes. you are not supposed to take out nests, Jules. tag and-

-I was told. me and Mayers figured out how to take out the nests and I need Tia back here. If I wake up, then Mayers can explain.

Mayers returned, carrying a multitude of the oldest and most worn clothing she'd ever seen. She bundled up and didn't care. She was cold. She instructed him to get out to the main road and figure out where they were. He left her again and she went looking for a way to start a fire. She needed warmth. When Jody came back, he gave her street names, which she passed on to Chess.

"Fire, Jody. Figure something out here."

"How to light a fire. In the house."

"I don't give a shit. Burn it down for all I care. I'm cold. Chess will see the smoke."

"Burn the house? Burn it down? I can't burn down the shelter. We haven't cleared the neighborhood. We-"

"Burn it."

"You'll leave and I will still be here. No. I won't burn our shelter."

"Fine, Jody."

"What's the plan?"

"No plan." She snapped.

"You get mad when you don't get your way."

She remained quiet with that remark, considering he had some what of a point. Burning the shelter was not smart. She sat thinking, if not to smolder over their current situation, then to come up with a plan.

"Why don't you choose?" He asked when he finished rummaging through the home once more.

"I do choose."

"Not from the looks of it." He criticized. "You do remind me a little of Tia, but I would never allow her to run the way you do."

"Neither would I." She agreed with him. "We allowed you. She didn't have to sneak and hide with you."

"So why can't you choose?"

"I do. I have."

"Morgan, "

"I never asked you to understand. I never asked them to understand."

"Do you understand?"

"I chose Jay then."

"Then why the trip with Chess, Morgan?"

"Why are you getting personal with me, Mayers?"

"Why can't you choose one man and not do the extra as Keller would say?"

"Because. It's hard to choose."

"They allow it." He mumbled. "I can't figure out why you allow it."

"It feels good. You act like you never had another female."

"But you're pregnant."

"I know that."

Jody shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around Julia.

"You sense it don't you? It's because we're connected."

"Sense it? Yeah, that's must be what it is. They sense it too."

"I'm conflicted. Each has his own specific energy, Mayers. Each gives me something I need, depends on what I need at the time."

"Ok. That's how you explain it to yourself."

"Mayers, it's-you act like I have been with 100 people. God, I am not out running the streets."

"I think you don't think as highly of yourself as everyone else does."

Julia stopped talking. Wake up...wake up...she thought, wanting to leave. Was he attempting to make her feel guilty? She felt it regardless of his intentions.

"I think you're a great girl. That's all. Normal girls don't act like that is all."

"Thanks for the tip, Mayers. I'll take it under advisement." She said, pulling her legs closer to her body.

"What happened to you that fucked you up?" He asked, taking a seat next to her. He pulled her close to him. God, he's cold, too...Julia thought as she allowed it.

"Zombies happened." Julia answered, rubbing his arms with the sleeves of the hoodie.

"How did you see zoms before the rest of the world saw them?"

"Jay shot all of us." She answered. "He sent us there on this weird field trip."

"Why?"

"He was angry, Mayers. We killed someone. It weighed on him."

"You and Jayson killed someone?"

"Jayson killed him."

"Why? What happened?"

"The man raped me, Mayers. That's why."

"So he killed the guy that raped you and then he shot you? That doesn't makes sense."

"I said it's a long story, Mayers." She snapped. "One I don't wish to talk about."

"That's what fucked you up?"

"Could say that. He would say I was fucked up before that, but yeah, then the zombies."

"I can understand why you don't wanna talk about it."

"It was one hour in all the hours of my life." Julia shrugged. She was tired of talking about this, tired of replaying this in her head. She knew the more she spoke of it, the more she'd heal, but she didn't wish to heal with Jody Mayers. She didn't wish to-

"Jules, wake up!" She heard him calling her, sat up, but was still connected to Jody. When she opened her eyes, she sat on the bed in a hoodie and dirty old clothing on Jody Mayer's lap.

"Awe, shit, Jody." She whispered. "He will not be pleased." She sighed, separating from the kid's strong arms.

"You brought me back again, Morgan."

"We're going to have to work out the kinks, Mayers. I haven't crossed in a long time." She got off the bed and pulled off the clothes she wore, handed the hoodie back to him. She focused her attention on Chess. "Hey, Chess. I tried to take Jody home." She called.

"Good. Did it work? He needs to go home. Can't stay here forever."

"Um, yes and no." She replied, pulling on jeans over the white cotton panties.

"Think I could get a piece before we leave." he asked sounding hopeful as he emerged from the bathroom. He saw Jody and turned back around. "Nevermind. Clothes, please. What's the kid here for?"

"Chess, I didn't get a chance to drop him off at home before you woke me up." She gathered up his clothes and took them in the bathroom to him.

"Where are we?"

"Halfway home." Julia answered. "What time is it anyway, Chess?"

"430."

"A.M.? Why am I awake at this hour of the morning?"

"So we can fuck, Julia. That was the plan." Chess rolled his eyes.

"Plans have changed." She said, watching him dress in his fatigues. He looked so handsome. She kissed his cheek as he buttoned up his shirt, then turned to leave.

"Hey." He said, catching her arm. "You. Come here." He pulled her to his chest and hugged her.

"You alright?" She asked, embracing him.

"Yeah. Get ready to roll out ok."

Within twenty minutes they were in the car. "You need food, babe?" He asked.

"Too early, Chess. I'm not hungry."

"Did you check your sugar, sugar?"

"I am fine. When I get home, I will."

The road passed fast, no traffic. Chess had to be back on base by 630am, so he wasn't staying around when they got back home. He sent Mayers out of the car at the curb in front of the house. He walked around and he opened the door, letting Julia out of the car. "I'll see you next month."

"Yeah, you will. Stay safe, my Chess."

"I will. Always. Go, then." He sighed, looking away from her. She pulled her pack over her shoulder and he took her ring off. He looked at the ring, the way the street light above shined on the stone. "I have a question before I leave." He said, turning toward her. She waited for his question. "Why did I do that to you?"

"I told you why."

"Maybe I should ask you why you let me? What were you thinking at the time, Julia?"

"I wasn't sure what we were doing at first. I mean I thought it was kinky sex. After awhile, it became so much more."

"But I thought that you didn't like weakness."

"Do I look weak, Chess? Did I last night?" She asked.

"No,"

"You broke me down, but you built me back up. Once there were rules and roles, it only made me stronger. I knew what I was supposed to do and stayed within a certain boundary. I rarely stepped out of the boundary."

"So, what's so bad about it? If it helped you, if I helped you..."

"Nothing. I told you why I wanted out."

"So what happens when no one has control? You go back to the madness?"

"Madness? Chess, is that what you would call me when I'm normal?"

"You came back to us normal. We do not like the madness."

"We? Who is 'we'?" She asked, annoyed. "Chess, get in your car and drive away."

"See, you're already evasive and cocky. It hasn't even been five minutes, Julia." He argued. "Can I change my mind? Ever? In the future for some reason?"

"Of course, you can rescind, but-"

"Julia, you been back a month or so. You've been a completely different person. You never fight with us. You never get angry and throw stuff anymore. No mood swings, none of that craziness you pull. So far, the reviews are positive."

"Chess. I'm still adjusting. I'm pregnant. I already have boundaries in place in addition to the others."

He looked at his watch. "I gotta go, Julia. I can't be late."

"Then go save the world, Chess. Geeze,"

"I resc-"

"No. Don't you say it, Chess. I told you why. I wanna commit to Jay, Chess. I can't commit if-"

"Don't cut me off or argue with me. I rescind, Julia." He said, placing his hands on her shoulders. 

"Chess, dammit." She sighed.

"I release you to Jayson and only Jayson." He placed his hands on her cheeks and pulled her head toward him. "Go commit." He kissed her and walked around the car. Julia walked with him.

"Chess, please listen to me."

"You may not speak freely."

"May I, Chess? Please." She asked.

"I'm gonna be late, Julia. I do not argue with my wife." She bit her tongue. She begged with her eyes. "I'm giving you an option, Julia Morgan. The only option I will give short of putting you in the car."

"It's a lot of responsibility, Chess." She warned him. "It's not as easy as it sounds."  

"Babe, I can handle whatever you throw my way."

"But can you handle the madness?" She asked, taking his hands.

"Let me go, Julia."

She released his hands as he got in the car.

"You do not have any idea what you're getting into. But it is your decision."

She watched as Chess drove off.