CHAPTER 13- MORGAN-FREEMAN

"Are you ready, Morgan? Hey! Hey!" Masters snapped his fingers in front of her face, bringing her out of her distracted thoughts. She focused on his stubble, the strong jaw. She came alive, felt the rumble of the seat beneath her. Riding in that truck, she felt like she was sitting inside a green cave. Her eyes followed the interior lights, small circles every third seat at the roof. A couple light bulbs were out.

"Yep." She replied flatly, repositioning herself on the uncomfortable seat. The seat belt hung loose around her, but her clothes felt too tight against her skin. She was hot, sweaty in places that made her uncomfortable. Her head felt pressed too tight in her helmet. She'd pulled the length of her hair up in a tight bun that stuck out the back of the helmet, too much hair for the helmet. She plucked the goggles off her face and held them in her hands, fiddling with the strap.

She felt the truck lurch and held onto her seatbelt. They'd run over something, but they continued on. 19 men. Ten across from her sitting side by side. 5 flanked her right and 4 flanked her left. Black boots, black heavy pants, black shirts taut against their chests. Long sleeves. The clothing, she observed looking down at her own arms and legs was a strange fabric. Coarse, tightly woven and heavy. Not a comfy cotton blend. It scraped abrasively at her skin. The men were strapped up with belts and gear. They'd given her a smaller belt, a 9mm and several clips. A knife, which she remembered demanding of them and had said she wouldn't head in without one. She'd vaguely remembered a firing range, hearing someone acknowledge she could clear for a weapon.

She felt numb inside, lost inside, empty inside. She sensed tension around her, the solemn faces, stone like, rigid bodies. How had she found her way in between all these looming, large, well sculpted men? Why did she have to be the only female?

"Snap out of it." He demanded, snapping his fingers in front of her face. "Stay alert to your  surroundings." He shouted over the rumble of the vehicle as it rolled down the road.

Her hand flew from her lap, snatching him by his thumb. She bent his hand backward. "Snap your fingers in my face again, motherfucker..." She shoved him back to his seat, releasing his hand.

"Stand down, Morgan." Another man shouted toward her.

She refrained from replying, sitting back in the seat, crossing her legs. She bounced the right leg a little, adjusting to the weight of the heavy leather of the boot. No fear. Sadness, unbalanced, numb. Apathy held her in its tightest grip. Unphased, she retreated to the recess of her mind and played there. The corner of her brain in stasis, neither in the past or the future, she stayed by choice in the moment.

The brakes slammed as the truck arrived askew in the street. The team unbuckled in unison. Men stood and crouched to avoid smacking their skulls on the ceiling. Julia got to her feet, plenty of room to stand tall. He tapped her shoulder, "Jump when the door opens." He stated, adjusting his helmet, which had communication capabilities as did the rest of them. Hers did not. She held back...unsure of this man. She didn't know whether to trust him or distrust him. Feeling quite dead inside, her senses so dulled she was uncertain how much assistance she'd provide. She shook her legs out, getting used to the weight of the boots on her feet. They felt clunky and heavy, but sturdy and new. She had to wear them in, wished she had Nike's on.

The door opened and they filed out, jumping one by one. Julia had never practiced jumping out of vehicles and hesitated. Looked like a bigger jump than it was. She needed to see first, but the nervous kid behind her gave her a push and she slipped off the end of the truck to the ground, hitting with a thunk. Nervous kid leaped out before she could move and knocked her off balance. Masters had expected her to be on his heels. Julia stuck with nervous energy, falling in at his side instead.

"Morgan." She stated flatly.

"Freeman." He answered, glancing down through his goggles, his deep brown eyes giving her belt a glance, zeroing in on her knife. He appeared a bit confused by her company. This tall and skinny kid could move fast on his feet. She kept up and stayed silent all the while wondering why they were running. But they pushed forward. He seemed to know where he was headed. Into hell, evidently, she could feel the heavy swarm of death around the corner and she snatched his arm, holding him back. He slowed down, feeling the pressure on his bicep. He'd been briefed on their guest. She'd been cleared to carry a weapon, had a talent that was useful to the mission.

"Hold up." She stated before they turned the corner. She had a feeling the late afternoon was about to shift into ugliness.

Freeman looked, then stepped back against the building. The look on his face said it all. "First timer." She observed. She could sense that he was about to leap straight to his death, which was not a good idea for either of them. "Hold up, Freeman. You wanna die?" She asked, stepping away from the brick building. She pointed straight ahead. "That way." She jogged across the street and kept moving forward. She was all for orders, but she surely wasn't running straight into a cluster of death with empty bellies. She kept her pace light, preserving her energy and once they were in the clear, she walked. A couple of the team members behind them followed along and Julia wondered who was leading whom. A couple blocks down, they turned the left the others had made earlier only onto a clear street lined with houses and trees and parked cars. The area had been cleared by earlier teams, residents had been relocated. Seeing the colors proved to be more difficult during the day. The late afternoon sun loomed above them. The glare off the street interfered with the colors, which were easier to focus on in the dark of the night. Or perhaps they weren't there at all? She doubted herself, feeling out of her zone, ineffective. The warmth off the streets would tire them if they went running unnecessarily. Julia was searching for the origin, the main cluster, hive, swarm that hung in a death pack. These zoms had a pack mentality, hunted together, stuck together, moved in unison. Their strength was greater in numbers. They walked, her companions fanning out beside and behind her. Freeman remained on her left. All eyes focused on the environment in front and to the side. She heard Freeman giving information on their location to whoever he communicated through the helmet. She moved forward, right hand on the knife at her side.

"Why would you want to cross draw?" Freeman asked, pointing to her 9mm on her left hip.

"I don't plan on drawing at all." She answered. "Gun left, knife right." Julia replied.

"Why the knife?"

"What happens when you run out of bullets?" She retorted. My knife, she thought, unbuckling her helmet. She removed it, tossing it as they passed some shrubs. She pulled the bun from her head and then reapplied the hair tie, leaving her hair fall in a tail over her back. She felt the tension release from her skull. They advanced down the street until the team all at once turned left and doubled back to the original destination. The team dropped the occasional walker with head shots. The guys were feeling relaxed after the first kills, adult males. Julia felt confident, covered inside a well armed bubble. She felt unease coming off Freeman though. Through the entire ride and walk, she doubted her place. What exactly was her purpose? One girl with a 9mm and a knife couldn't compare to the men that she'd accompanied there. There had to be a better way, an easier way. Her afternoon stroll felt counterproductive.

"Is there a plan?" If there was, she was out of the loop. She felt nothing but death here. It hung around them in the heat. The surrounding street felt desolate, abandoned, but life still went on. Dogs barked locked inside their houses. Birds flew and chirped. "This doesn't feel right. It's not the typical..."

There was no such thing anymore in terms of typical. The heat...the daylight...they were seeking shelter, hiding out the heat and their hunters. Julia halted in the shade of one of the trees. They halted. She felt like they were there to guard her not as much work with her and vice versa.

"Why did you stop moving?" Freeman asked as he observed her. Her blue-green eyes sweeping the yards surrounding them.

"I'm hot." She replied, spying the clothesline that hung directly across the street. She could see it over the privacy fence. Laundry. "Stay here." She walked across the street and entered the yard via the tall gate. She saw the light blue tee shirt, size small hanging up and she peeled off the heavy black, long sleeved shirt. A layer of moisture coated her skin beneath it. The light blue tee fit snug against her.

"Morgan," Freeman called over the fence.

"Yes." She answered, turning on the hose. She took a long drink of water. Freeman peered over the fence at her.

"Come in." She said, waving her hand at him. The birds had flown from the trees, heading the direction opposite away. She appreciated his weapon as he stepped inside the gate. "Take a drink."

"No." He answered, glancing at the hose, still running in her hand. She turned off the spigot, then pointed to the birds as they flew erratically over the house. He looked over his shoulder, over the fence as the walkers approached the men he'd left on the street. At that moment, Julia knew she'd chosen the right man to follow.

She approached the fence and he stopped her from nearing the gate. They may have had guns, but they were out numbered. They'd taken a couple down, but there were too many. Freeman aimed his weapon over the fence and he slow and steady, hit the dead, killing each one. He lowered the weapon. "Is there a kick to that thing?" She asked.

"No, ma'am." He answered. "It fires smooth."

"Let's get me one." She suggested, pushing through the gate.

"You changed clothes."

"Just the shirt, Freeman. I kind of like the pants and the boots are growing on me."

Julia knelt over Freeman's fallen men and pulled her knife. She jabbed each man through the skull, then wiped her knife on the man's uniform. Freeman was taken by surprise.

"They'll turn." She said. She took the gun off the man she'd just put down and looped its strap over her. She held it and aimed at the streetlamp. She squeezed the trigger, gazed at the lamp as it burst into a hundred shards of glass. It was exhilarating firing a weapon like that. An automatic weapon as smooth as that was a gift. And silent, the bullet ejected with a soft whoosh noise. He helped her with the belt off the man and then she slung that over her shoulder as well.

"Love this gun. I'm keeping it." She smiled the first smile she'd had in a long while. These guys were like machines. They did what they were told and didn't ask too many questions.

"Nice shot, ma'am."

"Julia or Morgan. Not that ma'am shit, Freeman." She informed him. He smiled. "Oh, he smiles." She teased. "What's your name?"

"Antonio." He replied.

"How old are you?"

"22. You?"

"27. Why are you here?"

"Cause they sent me here."

"But why did you choose this?"

"I wanted to defend my country. Why are you here?" He asked.

"I don't have anywhere else to be."

"Where'd you train?"

"I have life experience, Antonio."

"You're civilian."

"Yeah."

"Where you from?"

"Pennsylvania. You?"

"Miami, Florida."

Freeman set out again, Julia at his side and they walked and shot the dead, the stragglers that had evaded the cordoned off area. The closer they got to the industrial park, the heavier the air hung around them. A blanket of blood, fallen bodies, fallen civilians and fallen military personnel. The odor of human flesh that had set out in the heat all afternoon, flies buzzing around the corpses, half mauled by human jowls. Quite literally a bloody mess. She and Freeman had head too far out, and walked the tracks back toward the industrial complex. She hadn't expected to see living souls outside of those wearing uniforms, but she and Freeman came across a band of them. They had moved up the tracks with their makeshift weapons and their lives, exhausted from what they saw and suffered through. The fact they'd worked at machine shop had helped their survival, various blood encrusted tools lay at their feet as they sought shade and refuge.

Freeman was not concerned with their presence as he led her past them.

"I wouldn't go in there if I was you." One of the men warned them.

"You're not us." Julia replied as she passed.

Ahead of the men nearly 20 yards, he urged them again to stop. "Girly, you don't know what you're getting into. We fought our way out."

Girly...fortunately for him she stopped shooting everyone that antagonized her a while back. After all this time, the world had still not changed. There would always be the one or two in a crowd that drew lines between male and female, strong and weak. She'd survived this long, as long as he. If she felt anything anymore, she would be angry. Small minded people survived too. He should have heeded the sirens when they sounded and he could have avoided the fight altogether. Some towns, the sirens sounded daily and some towns they never sounded at all. There was only so much training a siren operator could have, one had to sift through the real and the unreal and be able to define what was and what wasn't. The whole town didn't need to be evac'd for one zom or 10 if the operators in the area were trained well. Typically the siren sounds and some don't heed the call for cover. There were specific and designated areas to fall back and wait. That group of men did not choose to fall back and wait. That's how accidents happened. That's how things got out of control and that's how you wind up fighting for your life and losing or fighting for your life and surviving. Luck, really, was all that mattered.

There were places that people could go. Freedoms were cut short, however and there was limited space and you got to live right on top of the next person. Julia had seen it and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. There were areas, of course that were indestructible scattered across the U.S. There were people that were lucky enough to have a spot there. She could have and she did have one and could return to several of them any time she chose. Sometimes she longed to go home. Sometimes she longed to see them. Julia tried not to dwell on the past too much. It only hurt. She never looked forward to a future either.

Right here, right now.

She and Freeman had seen exactly how the band of machinists had made their great escape.

"Dumb asses. That's why they're loose. That's how they escaped the perimeter." Freeman complained. They slipped inside the fence and they worked to cover the hole the men had made. Whatever they could find that was stackable, they piled in front of the gaping hole the geniuses had cut. What  had once been a cleared residential area could now be swarming with escaped dead.

"Who's on comm? Tell him to get teams out there." Julia ordered. "And send a vehicle for those dumb asses on the tracks."

Freeman spoke into his mic and informed them of the breech in the rear of the yard, that the neighborhood was not clear. And there were dumb assess on the tracks. Julia felt the pull to go inside, so she and Freeman walked the edge of the warehouse till they found an entrance that was unlocked. She felt the handle on the door, it felt cool not warm or hot, so she and Freeman went inside.

"Here, they're in here." Julia said softly. Pallets upon pallets stacked and wrapped in clear plastic. It appeared undisturbed and empty. The sun shined through the windows along the top of the building, casting their only light source. "We don't have much time." She told him as there were pockets of darkness through out the open expanse. If she looked hard and long enough she would find a squad of them, seeking darkness and waiting for the sun to fall. These dead went undetected. These dead had brains that were tweaked to night fall only. The sun seemed to bother them. Old virus wandered the streets and mutated virus hid in the shadows, waiting for the right time to feed. Julia had seen this type of creature before. Dead was still dead, but advanced thought...she thought back to a conversation about biological warfare. Are you ready to go to war?

Are you ready?

Are you?

Despite all their efforts, grouping together and making new ways of life in this uncertain time, they still lingered on the brink of extinction, teetering on the edge of losing it all. They held the upper hand, protocols were in place and the country was a militarized zone and under martial law in most places. That's if anyone even gave a shit about any law. It could be the wild, wild west out there. Lawlessness and rogues abound. The military was full of them, having picked up the strongest scraps of human survival. Not many signed on anymore, which made Freeman standout to her. Who would volunteer to walk into a nest, walk into what would most likely, in the end, consume you?

Along the back wall, in the darkest of areas, they nested. Lined up as if waiting for their firing squad. They wait silent and deadly. It was a great misconception that they would not emerge from their dark solace if need be. They were not fans of a glistening and setting sun, but they could function in its presence. Julia held back and looked up, seeking the upper hand sometimes meant getting to higher ground. If there was no higher ground, one had to construct it or improvise.

She pointed up. Freeman looked up. There was no up. Only a sea of pallets.

She patted the pallet and pointed up. He hoisted her up there, then climbed up after her.

"I'll call in-"

"Shhh, no. We got this. We can see them."

She grasped his arm, that nice little bicep he had beneath the black material. She tried to connect to him. She latched onto his energy, creeping through his nerves like a vine to his brain.

-we can see them. look

In the darkness, red orbs. Red energy, the deathly red glow.

-you shoot the red spots.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head.

-speak inside your head.

-how you in my head?

-try when I let go.

Julia released the bicep. -can you hear me now?  He nodded. -answer

It didn't work like that. Why for some and not others? She could still feel her residual energy inside him.

-ok. you can listen. do you see the red still?

He shook his head.

-use the night vision.

He touched a small button on the side of his goggles and scanned the room. A grin appeared on his face. She normally refrained from connecting to anyone anymore. There was something about Freeman, though that rang a bell inside of her.

-shoot them. I will get the ones that surround us cause they will surround us. Or I could shoot them and-

He started firing. He made his choice. He saw them advancing, but stuck with the ones on the wall and she took care of those that advanced. Exploding heads, blood splattered all around the warehouse. Close range, Julia pulled her knife and jabbed quickly and efficiently at the skulls surrounding the pallet on top of which they stood. She had fists full of hair and as each skull was impaled, she withdrew the blade and moved to the next. Freeman watched as she went along. Zom head by zom head. Too close for comfort for him. He started picking them off with the gun, hoping to avoid the tiny red haired girl from being pulled into the throng surrounding them. Back to back they exterminated the nest. Her hands and shirt were covered in blood, infected blood.

"I think that's all of them, Freeman."

"How? Why? The blood is infected. Morgan-"

"I'm sort of immune." She replied simply, holding her hands up and studying the thick goo as it crusted around her French manicure.

"Are you sort of sure about that?"

"I've been infected five times."

"Wow. You been bit?"

"Uh, no. I haven't tried that yet."

"Why?"

"I'm not a chew toy."

I'm digging that smile of his...she thought to herself.

"Thanks, Morgan."

"Oh, no problem. First time..."

"Yeah."

He hopped off the pallet first then she hesitated again.

"You don't like jumping." He observed, reaching a hand up. She declined to take it having bio hazardous material coating her flesh.

"Um, no. I usually avoid that. Running too. I'm no runner." She said sitting on the edge of the pallet. His large hands gripped her waist and pulled her down, hands still up in the air careful not to touch him.

Julia sought out and found the bathroom in this warehouse, scrubbing herself clean, getting the blood off her hands and arms. The rest of it she saved for later. Freeman radioed in, informing them he and Julia had found and exterminated the nest. They were ordered back to the truck.

"Orders. Orders. Orders." Julia monotoned. "Never a thank you or a good job. Just, oh okay, now get back to work."

As night fell on the town, the dead in the streets were gathered in the collection vehicle and brought to the nest. Julia felt there was no reason for that anymore. She was uncomfortable burning people and burning the dead. There were people who knew them, who loved them who would claim them and wish to bury and mourn them properly. She and Freeman were on collection detail. The yellow kitchen gloves donned on their hands and they loaded up bodies from the street and from the industrial complex. It was back breaking work. Tedious and depressing. For those that had feelings or were new to this, it was an emotional time. Freeman had been one of those first timers. Sometimes there was the occasional child that brought men to tears.

Julia felt nothing, but she could sympathize with those that did. Thus another reason why she didn't often connect with people anymore. Their feelings kicked and fought with the remnants of her energy and the whole situation became heavy on her. Freeman. She'd connected to the first timer and suddenly regretted doing so. Freeman was a wreck on the inside and solid stone on the outside.

"Antonio, Take a minute to yourself."

"Huh? No, Morgan." He replied.

"I said go on. Take a few in fact."

"I'm alright."

"It's too much on my brain. You're giving me a headache. Please."

Julia opened her pocket on her hip by the 9mm and withdrew a cigarette and her matches. She set her ass on the curb with the van driver and shared her cigarette with him in silence. She felt a mess, looked a mess, and as she moved felt sticky and sweaty. She wanted a bath. A nice warm shower and a joint. There were days she craved a joint, a few hits off one and she'd float the fuck away. She couldn't wait to head back to the truck, strap herself inside and ride out a two hour long cave ride to the barracks. She wanted her notebooks and her joint normally, but this evening she wanted Antonio. All the months on the road from place to place, educating and re-educating and hunting and killing and begging the people to listen to her. She'd never been lonely, in fact she was surrounded by people. Not her people, but people. She'd made few connections, few lasting friendships. She could root around in his brain if she chose, she'd slithered inside there and took root.

-you're alive...you could come home to your husband ...she heard in the distance

-I am alive

-what's this one's name? Or do you not know yet?

-Freeman, Antonio from Miami, Florida.

-Morgan-Freeman...is he narrating your apocalypse?

-strong kid...he's connected...reminds me of, you know...tell my babes I love em'...

-tell em' yourself. come home...

-maybe. i'm gonna break this kid's heart first...

-he gonna break yours...you won't find him...come home...

By dawn the job was wrapped up. She was still hot, still bloody, still by Freeman's side. The mission had been carried out and all was quiet. Residents were released from the shelters and were heading home on foot or in vehicles. Mothers and fathers carried sleepy children, special busses transported the elderly and infirm. Julia grinned, watching them as they drove by. The one thing that they'd put in place. Who makes the elderly or sick walk to and from shelters that were sometimes over a mile from their home in all kinds of weather? The military. The transport was all voluntary and it worked. Sometimes pregnant women hopped on the busses, but that was on a case by case basis.

As they hopped back in the rear of the truck, Freeman's hand reached out to her and she took it. Masters took that moment to congratulate them on exterminating the nest. A round of applause for Freeman. Masters was supposed to claim the glory, but his congrats was purely genuine. She felt a calmness flush over her in the midst of the adrenaline rush that collapsed in around her. These men were high on it. While they stayed awake and recounted their war story on the streets of suburbia, she closed her eyes a couple hours. There was no such thing as an adrenaline rush anymore. She didn't care if she lived or died. Half the days she breathed air, she wished she wasn't. She wished Jay would come for her.

Jay...she broke from her slumber and snapped awake with a startle. She gasped in air and acclimated to her surroundings. Inside the green mobile cave with its dim ceiling lights casting little light upon them. The adrenaline rush had subsided. Few were awake.

"Ya alright, Morgan." Freeman asked.

"No." She replied, trying to breathe. She hated this feeling. "Out, let me out." She pulled frantically at the seat belt.

"Hey, calm down." Freeman said, taking her hands away from the belt. "Where ya think you're goin'?"

She set back in the seat, wringing her hands in her lap. "How much longer?"

"Like an hour. Get comfortable." He mumbled, latching the seatbelt back around her. She heard the click and knew she was stuck like it or not.

-ever wake up thinking about someone and then realize that person's gone...and you're still here...

"Not yet. Who is it?" he asked.

"A friend." She answered. Here and now...here and now...not the past...not the future...here and now...she repeated this to herself till she believed it or felt it or understood it.

"You always gonna be in my head now?" He asked.

"It'll fade." Julia answered, crossing her legs. She leaned and unlaced the boot, then shifted legs and unlaced the other. The gun belt came off next, dropping it on the floor by her boots. She left her knife on her hip. "The more I connect, the stronger the connection is. The less I connect, the more it fades. There's one guy though that doesn't happen, he's always there and I am always there."

"Who?"

"My husband." She answered. She felt Freeman back off psychically. "We can't get divorced, Freeman. It's kind of a thing of the past."

"Yeah, ok." He said. "You're separated."

"Been separated. We married young."

"You don't like clothes do you?" He asked.

"These pants, man. I gotta pee and they're tight."

"You ain't shy either, Morgan." He smiled.

"I do what I want." She shrugged. "It's a bad habit. I don't know how you guys sit there all strapped up like that." She said, waving her hands around at the men and their gear. Freeman had removed his helmet and goggles though.

"If this truck stops, you gotta get dressed." He snickered.

"We're not stopping." Julia replied nonchalantly.

She had a lovely conversation with Freeman. She learned his story, his likes and dislikes. He had such an easy personality. He really reminded her of...

"So tell me about you, Morgan."

"Just a girl."

"Woman."

"Eh, it's all the same."

"Zombie slayer. I see why you carry the knife."

"It's my knife. I have had this knife for 12 years. It stays with me, on me."

"I would never get up like that and touch one."

"Hair isn't coming off, Freeman. Not off a new zom anyway. The old ones, Christ, that scalp slides off them. That'll make you vomit for sure."

"What was your first kill?" He asked.

Julia had to think about that one. "Gun or knife? Human or Zom? I was 16 maybe. That time of my life was like ageless, timeless."

"There were no zoms way back then." He shook his head.

"There were zoms way back in the day. Act like it was a century ago or something." She said, poking him. "A hallway in an apartment building. I remember my knife kept getting stuck in the bone. I had to use my foot and prop it on the skull and yank it out. It was dark and there were bullets flying everywhere. It was scary, terrifying, but such a rush afterward."

"Where?"

"Maverick, Pa. Home. You don't have to believe me. You have to believe it's possible is all." She answered. "That's why I go through the eye as much as possible. The ball pops and explodes like a fat zit, but it gets the job done."

"Why didn't you have a gun?"

"The boys had the guns. The rifles had a kick that about knocked us girls over. And the boys could fire them, like they'd been hunting before."

"Human?"

"I think it was the Mexicans. They held their guns on us. I wasn't a real good shot then. Anyway, I grazed this fucking Mexican's arm, fleshy, but he woulda lived."

"Woulda?"

"I shot him in the head anyway."

"Why?"

"I believe my exact words were-'he was a gap in the circle'."

"What circle?" Freeman laughed.

"Oh, back then we had this son's of anarchy thing going on. Like there was a circle and there couldn't be any gaps in the circle, like loose ends. I was tying up loose ends."

"Where did this take place?"

"Somewhere in Lancaster, Pa. An elementary school. We went on a supply run and got in some trouble. Sometimes you have to make split second decisions. Looking back I still made the right one."

"No regrets."

She nodded her agreement. "Doesn't everyone kill zombies in their youth?"

He laughed. "No."

God, I'm digging that smile...she thought. "You got a girl, Freeman?" She asked.

"Nah, no one at home waiting for me.  Just mom." He answered.

The truck pulled onto the mini-base and parked. The truck door opened and the guys jumped out with less vigor. Most had been up for more than 24 hours. Julia stayed inside, waiting and lacing up her boots, gathering up her gear. Freeman waited for her at the bumper and helped her down. They head back to the barracks, Julia walking with him. She gazed at her square tent that had been set up. She said she didn't have a problem with the barracks. Obviously they hadn't paid her any mind.

"Hey, Antonio." Julia called as he walked off toward the door.

"What, Morgan?" He asked.

"Get cleaned up, then come back." She told him.

"That's inappropriate, Morgan." A gentleman, too.

"Nothing is inappropriate anymore." She replied, then walked off to her tent.

She lifted the flap on this monstrosity of a shelter. Flat green. A folding table and a chair, a cot and linens. Her bags. She grabbed her bag and head off to the main building where Masters had said for her to shower. She wasn't allowed in the showers. So much had changed, so little had changed. Masters had said there was hot water in the main building. She caught him heading inside at the same time. He had rank at this place. She wasn't interested in rank or Masters.

"Ladies first." He said, holding the door for her.

"Thanks."

Masters set outside the bathroom the whole shower and had a full conversation with her. A nice guy, Julia thought, rinsing off the coconut shower gel. Dr. McGill had gifted her that for her blood samples. Cure us, doc. She'd told him when they parted ways.

"I'd like to partner up with you sometime, Morgan. You diverted from the plan." He said, bringing her out of her thoughts. It hadn't been her plan, so she felt she could divert all she wished.

"It wasn't personal, Masters. You hauled ass away from me and this girl doesn't run." She replied, turning off the stream of water. She toweled off and then pulled on a light sundress. She sensed him looking at her. She let him. This was part of the life. No women in the field. Just her and occasionally Blondie. She and Blondie usually avoided each other. She recalled Jayson asking her about her course in life.

"So what do you want to do? What's out there that you can't get here?"

"Nothing yet.  I seriously do not know...Blondie's job. Whatever or whoever she works for. That's what I want to do. I could do it better."

What bullshit that was...she thought. She and Blondie had come to an understanding, one that would never heal from a broken wrist and an ass kicking in a school parking lot. They'd spent limited time together over the years. She addressed Julia as Cunt and Julia addressed her as Bitch, or vice versa, although they did have a mutual respect for each other. All she and blondie dealt with was a testosterone wall.

He'd continued to drone on about breaking formation, what could get her killed and she needed to follow protocol. Blah, blah, blah. She was public relations specialist, Julia Fry-Morgan. He never pandered for her attention before and had a feeling his dick was more interested in her pussy than he was interested in picking her brain. According to Masters, PR was a thorn in the side of getting things done.

"Masters, I appreciate your appreciation. You have a good night now." She patted his shoulder as she passed, reeking of the coconut body wash and shampoo.

Julia head back across the small campus to her green hut. Freeman waited for her, standing clear as day by her tent flap sporting black shorts and a white tee. For a guy who thought they were about to be inappropriate, he sure put it out there for all to see. There certainly was something about this kid that tugged at her. She admitted it to Chess. She admitted it to herself. She knew the difference right? There was a sharp contrast. He wasn't him. Don't expect him to be. She didn't go out looking for a replacement, no one measured up, but this kid stirred up her hormones.

"Oh, my." She smiled. " I love it." She reached up and fluffed his curly black hair. It hung over his eyes a bit. Those deep brown, almost black eyes. His smooth brown skin.

"You smell so good." He said, gripping her around her waist. "Coconut, Morgan. I love it."

Oh, you'll never forget it. Every time he smelled coconut from that night on, he would think of her.

She pulled the flap back and let him duck into the tent, still gripping her waist.

"Ready, Morgan?" He smiled, shimmying her sundress over her hips. "God damn, you're a shorty."

Dress off. Tee off. Broad brown chest, pecs, abs, biceps, small waist. A tattoo, 'mami' over his left pec. Appendectomy scar across the right lower abdomen. She hadn't been this close to a male in a while. He lifted her to kiss her rather than bend. He stood a foot or more taller than her, which neither paid much attention to in the field. But they weren't exactly trying to kiss in the field either. He laid her on the floor of her tent, kissing on her.

"Morgan, this ain't gon' be but a minute." He warned her, shimmying down his shorts as she grinded against his pelvis.

"Why?" She asked.

"It's been months." He said, hand between her legs rubbing his hardness into her wetness.

"Oh, that's fine. There's always round two." She whispered as he found his way inside her. She held his biceps, tight as he hovered over her, watching as he slid in and out of her.

"Morgan, that's tight." He moaned. He felt her hands on him, tickling him with her energy as she rooted upward into his brain. "Morgan." He moved faster, then faster.

"Let go." She said, matching his rhythm.

"Morgan, that's good, that's so hot, Morgan." He groaned as she set her feet on the floor and lifted her bottom off the floor. She hadn't had a guy make her come in a long time. Freeman had it, whatever it was. When he came, he still hovered over her, stayed inside her. Her arms, locked around his neck. Her red hair had fanned out over her and above her. "Morgan, you're so pretty." He said, dropping down to kiss her, he pushed back up.

"Thanks, handsome." She smiled.

"Nah, I didn't notice earlier. You are though. You're pretty, ma."

"Must have been all the blood and gore. It distracts from the hotness." She laughed as his eyes roamed over her body.

-small tits...

"I love some small titties, ma." He said, dropping down to kiss her then raising up on his arms again.

She ran her hands through his soft, jet black hair. -I love this hair. I dig that smile.

"You ready, Morgan?" He smiled.

She felt odd, something flickered inside her belly. "Yeah, Freeman. I'm ready."

"This will take awhile." He warned her.

"Good. It's been awhile."

"Me too. How long?"

"You first." She smiled up at him, avoiding the answer.

"Since I was home. Before Parris Island."

"Oh, that's not long at all."

"How long, shorty?"

"Like a year and a half, so rock my world ok."

Freeman rocked her world a good hour and a half to the point she was sore. After being up nearly 24 hours, laborious work in the field then Antonio and his work out, Julia's entire body ached. Then he went and beat her up some more. They spread out the blanket on the floor and covered up with a sheet. She lay her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The steady and soothing lub-dub of his pulse. He held her tight, caressed her and kissed her. He reminded her of him. His soul was similar.

"You have Indian in you, don't you?" She asked.

"Indian?" He laughed.

"Not India indian, like native indian."

"On mami's side, yeah. Dad's black."

That was it, the it he had in him. Though it took some time to trace in his blood, she couldn't tell from looking at him. She could hear it somehow, his heartbeat. She hadn't heard the heart beat until her head lay against his broad chest. There was the flicker in her belly again. What the hell was that?

"I can hear it in your heart beat." She said, shifting her body. "It's familiar, but strange. I like it."

"I like you, Morgan." He said, touching her face.

Connected...how's it supposed to fade if you connect us...

"I like you, too, Freeman."

They lay awhile talking about his heritage as told to him by his mom when she finally hushed him.

She looked around the tent, hearing footsteps.

-we have company. Shhh. Freeman shut up as directed, listening for the footsteps.

 -awe, shit...

"Morgan, are you awake?" Masters asked, standing outside her tent.

"I am. What do you want?"

"Want some company in there?"

"I-um-I have all the company I need, thanks."

"Who's in there, Morgan?" He demanded.

"Well, dad, " She replied sarcastically. "Why is it your business, dad?" She asked him.

-he's wanted to hit this from day one. Julia told Freeman.

"There's no fraternizing with-"

"But you wanna fraternize-" She snapped.

"You want him?" Freeman whispered.

Julia shook her head. -no.

"Loopholes." Julia yelled. "I'm a civilian, not infantry. Go away."

"You're O.I., Morgan, so technically..." Masters reminded her of her rank as original infantry..."It's Freeman isn't it?"

"Yes, sir." Freeman replied. "It's down time, sir. Permission to carry on?"

-you're not going anywhere, Freeman

"Good night, carry on." He said.

"Why so long, Morgan?" He asked, listening as Masters foot steps ambled away from her tent.

"He died."

"Tell me about him."

"Huh?" She asked, surprised he'd ask.  "Uh, his name was Jay. He was my boyfriend."

"And..."

"And what?"

"Well, it musta hit you hard if you been alone all this time."

"It did. I mean, we went out in high school, broke up a while, got back together. Second time around was like a fucking dream. He was my reason."

"Reason for-"

"Living, breathing, getting out of bed in the morning and going back to bed at night. He was my everything. My friend, my love, my protector. He's always with me."

"How'd he die?"

"Saving my ass." She answered. "He was shot. God, I miss that kid." She frowned. "But life goes on, right?"

"I'm sorry, Morgan."

"Thanks. Honestly, Freeman, you remind me of him."

"Do I look like him or something?"

"Nah, nothing alike. You're kindness. The same gentle spirit is all."

"Nobody's been kind to you since-"

"It's not that. There's plenty of kind people. I can't explain what it is. It's not physical. It's on the inside not the outside."

"Got all that from me pushing you out of a truck."

She laughed, "Kind of. You're a gentle old soul is all. And I'm a sucker for gentle old souls."

"Mami says I'm an old soul too." He paused. "Thanks for keeping me alive today, Morgan."

"Yeah, you're welcome. Cause you were about to die, following the herd like that."

"I kinda thought so."

"You really don't realize how close you came." She said.

"If I didn't follow you in the yard, I woulda died in the street..."

"You had orders to keep me alive. You had to hang on me like that. Masters lost me, so it was all on you." She said.

"How do you know things? It just comes to you?"

"Yeah. It's all about signals. The universe sends signals. I see them and heed them is all."

"Ever been wrong?"

"He's dead, so yeah."

"Shit, Morgan."

"Shit, Freeman. The one time I call a bluff all hell broke loose."

"Who shot him?"

"Someone that I had issues with. The person came after me and Jayson was somewhere he didn't belong. I told him I would handle it. He followed me and one thing led to another. My mouth gets me in trouble. He told me it would get me killed. Got him instead."

"So what happened to the person that shot him?"

"I killed him. It felt right at the time and then I lost it, all touch with sanity."

"What pulled you back?"

"My husband. He sent a couple marine friends and they took me back to Pa."

"Who is your husband?" Julia held back a minute. "Where are you from in Pa?"

"Chester Morgan. Sector two squad leader and-"

"Shit. He's gonna kill me. He's like in charge of half of that state."

"He will not, Freeman."

"You're Julia Morgan."

"Freeman, he knows. I told him."

"It is not cool." He said, sitting up straight. "Morgan. He's gonna-"

"He will not do anything, Freeman. He's wifed up."

"Macy Morgan. I am aware. He's a fucking legend, Morgan."

"Why do you think Masters said carry the on? And then said good night? Morgan carries a little bit of weight. I been married to Chess since 17."

"You're his first wife. You're the Julia. I knew this was inappropriate."

"So if you had known about my husband, you wouldn't have done this?"

"It's disrespectful. He's cut throat. You put me in a spot here."

"It's known that we are quite open. Enough that he has another wife."

"He's in the history books."

"Oh, Lord." Julia rolled her eyes. "Freeman, you have been nothing but respectful. Calm down. The only thing that would piss him off is if you hurt me or harmed me. That's the truth." He still looked nervous. Like the infantry of sector two was looming outside the tent ready to ambush him when he stepped outside the flap. "Freeman, I am not part of his territory or his personal property."

"Still, Mrs. Morgan."

"See, this is why I don't tell anyone." She said, fuming mad now. "The only person's feelings you need to worry about are mine. He's a nonissue. Why are you making him one?"

"I'm sorry." He said softly. "Don't be mad with me, Morgan."

"The history in your book and the history in my head are two different histories. The man and the marine are two very different people."

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

"Positive."

"When were you last together?"

"When I went home last. After Jayson died."

"You went to bed after losing the guy you love?"

"Chess takes care of me when I let him take care of me. I'm allowed to make love to my husband whenever I please."

"Even though he's married to Macy Morgan."

"I make love with her when I please as well. She is my wife too."

The flicker again, deep in her belly. She glanced at Antonio, then felt the flicker again. Oh, shit, no...Julia moaned to herself. The flicker...oh, shit, yes...Denial...Flicker...flicker...flicker...Antonio relaxed a little, sitting back against the cot. "If you want a history lesson, I can give you one. If you're that into him, you can meet him. I'm sure he'd welcome you-"

"No, no that's alright." He said, holding up his hand. "It's a lot to think about. You're famous."

"No, I am not, but whatever." She laughed.

"Virginia. You avoided a civil war between New York and Pennsylvania. You-you didn't want him to go in the marines. If he listened..."

"He would not be supreme leader over the land. Blah, blah, blah. You act like he walks around wearing a crown and a robe. I assure you he's not as kingly as that history portrays."

"You left him for his cousin."

"Damn, they teach you a lot in boot camp don't they? You guys get all into that?"

"Well, there are always the rumors."

"Enlighten me." Julia smiled.

"He's got a 9 inch cock."

"I never measured."

"He sold drugs. He was a pimp."

"True and false."

"Sector two squad is run by a street gang from Philly."

"True. And the kids from the reformatory."

"He loves poker."

"We all do."

"He grows pot and tobacco and gives it away for free."

"True and true."

"He's got pit bulls, like 15 of them."

"Chess is allergic to dogs. We have them on the compound, but they can't be anywhere near him. He breaks out in hives. Anything else you'd like to know about Mr. Morgan?"

He stared at her wide eyed, still a bit nervous about having been inside the sector two squadron leader's wife. Pennsylvania was divided into two sectors, east and west. Her husband was and is famous for taking the state back from the zoms. He organized and effectively eradicated them off Pa's map. Then he was invaluable in exterminating them through out sector one. Sector one was led by a non-marine named Tavin Keller.

"He knows about you. I told him before you even came in here. He's not the jealous type, but he's being briefed on you as we speak. I guarantee it." Julia informed him. "Is there a skeleton I need to know about? Have you been dishonest at all? I mean, I am a pretty accurate judge of character and I like your character. A lot."

"No, I been honest."

"Any questions about sector one squadron leader, Tavin Keller?" Julia asked.

"He's non-military. You know him too?" Freeman asked.

"I haven't seen him in a few years. He's Jayson's brother. It's funny he took over sector one because he absolutely hates Philly."

"Well, I feel like I should bow to you or something."

"Come on. Enough of this. My name is Morgan. What's yours?" She joked, extending her hand. He took it and pulled her against his chest. He kissed her cheek, put his arms around her. "You're sweet." She smiled. "I like your company."

"Round three, Morgan?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." She said, kissing him. "I'd like that a lot."

Keeping it professional outside the tent was difficult for her. Freeman changed up his persona on command and for the most part their affair was kept quiet. No one said anything if it was known. She imagined her name commanded some form of respect, but not one word's worth of rumor. His bunk mates knew, but they were cool with it and Freeman was not given any special treatment because of it. Julia and Chess were separate individuals. As Chess had warned her, Freeman was chipping away at her heart piece by piece. The more nights they spent together, getting to know each other and laying next to each other, the more Julia wanted. She kept it low key. She didn't want to scare the kid off and gradually the kid indicated that he was feeling the same way. Their sex mutated into making love and when Julia found out she was pregnant for sure, she was scared to tell him. She hadn't felt well and eight weeks in when Pennsylvania's sector two squadron leader arrived to their lowly barracks on a surprise visit, Julia was shocked to see him. She hadn't seen him in some time. She'd been called in from the field, a car arriving to the small town of Violet, and she was whisked back to their rag tag base. She had no idea why and only suspected she was being transferred for some reason. But to her surprise, Chess awaited her inside Masters' office. Masters' was in his glory and on his best behavior. This visit was as near to presidential as he would ever get aside from the Singletary's.

"Babe, what are you doing here?" Julia asked as she saw him sitting across the desk from Masters.

"Out, Masters. Thanks." Chess ordered, taking his wife into a long overdue embrace.

Masters left and closed the door behind him. Chess hugged her a bit too long. "What's wrong? Chess, are the kids ok?" She asked.

He separated from her, leaning back against Masters' desk. "Everyone's fine." He replied. "When did you plan on telling me?"

"Telling you what?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips.

He pointed at her belly. "Can I?" He asked. Chess loved a baby bump. Julia stepped closer to him. He rubbed her belly. "What do you need, Julia?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. I'm going to kill that doctor." She sighed, placing her hand on her own abdomen.

"You didn't say anything, mommy."

"I lose my pregnancies, Chess. You know I'm nervous, so-"

"You're fired, babe."

"What?"

"I am firing you, officially. You are terminated, effective immediately. I want you outta that hut and in a place somewhere that is safe and comfortable with your feet up."

"My feet up? Babe, I am perfectly safe here."

"Does he know? It's time I meet the kid."

"Chess, you're overstepping here. I didn't tell him."

There was a knock at the door, then Freeman poked his head in accompanied by Masters.  Masters was dismissed, Freeman was welcomed inside and saluted Chess immediately. Julia giggled. "I'm sorry. I am still not used to that." Julia laughed, then straightened up a bit.

"Antonio this is Chess." She introduced them.

"Sir." Antonio said, extending his hand. Chess shook it.

-be nice, Chess. he's a good guy

"You're dismissed." Chess said.

"Yes, Sir." Freeman said.

"Not you. Her. I'll see you later, Julia."

"You cannot dismiss me, Chess."

"Go ahead, Morgan." Freeman said, kissing her softly on her cheek.

"You call her Morgan."

"Yes, sir."

-don't you tell him, Chess. I want to.

-alright, I won't. It's not my place. Go pack your stuff.

-Chess!

-I will have it packed for you.

Julia glared at him as she stepped out of the office and slammed the door behind her.

"She's not mad at you. She's mad at me as usual. So, sit down. Tell me about yourself, Freeman." Chess took a seat at Masters' desk and paged through Freeman's file. "What are your intentions with my wife?"

Julia stalked outside the building and head across the campus to the small house that held the physician services center and family planning. She was angry and had every right to be angry.

"Where's Dr. Nathan?" Julia demanded of the medical secretary.

"Mrs. Morgan, he's with a patient."

"I am Julia Morgan. The wife of Chester Morgan, Sector two leader of Pennsylvania and you will fetch me the doctor now." Julia demanded. She usually didn't name drop, but felt the need at that moment.

"Yes, ma'am." She replied, getting up from her seat. She disappeared behind the partition and waited a minute or two. Dr. Nathan appeared and came into the waiting area. The short and balding doctor had his excuses already lined up. He had orders from the state of New York. Derrick Singletary, his sector leader had authority to do such things for sector leader Morgan. 

"You did not have my permission or this child's father's permission to give that information to anyone. I don't care if Jesus Christ himself dropped in with God the father and mother Mary. You keep your mouth shut. You had no right and no authority to give my medical information to anyone." Julia yelled at him. "You informed my husband before I informed the father. Are you insane? Do you realize the position this puts me in? Are you out of your fucking mind?" She screamed. On that note, two infantrymen dropped into the office and escorted an angry Julia Morgan outside and into their custody. "I will have your job! You will not be able to practice medicine after today. You violated my rights as a patient. I have rights." She screamed.

Dr. Nathan nervously closed the office door once the men removed her from the premises.

"Mrs. Morgan, we were ordered to escort you to your tent and remain with you."

"Take your hands off me." She stated angrily.

"Yes, ma'am." They replied, letting go of her arms. She knew them. They'd gone into the same town a few weeks back. They'd worked side by side numerous times.

"Chester Morgan has no authority in the state of New York." Julia told them.

"We have orders to follow his orders, ma'am."

Masters approached the two infantrymen and ordered them to stand down. He would take her into custody and be responsible for her. Julia was escorted back to her tent by Masters and he didn't lay a hand on her. He didn't say a word. He didn't mention Chess or Freeman or anything about any pregnancy. Instantly he was grateful he had not gotten involved with Pennsylvania's wife. Whatever had happened that caused the sector leader to visit small town Hicksville New York was a mystery.

Chess visited her small hut and welcomed himself inside, thanking Masters then dismissing him. "Nice place you have here."

"Chess, please don't condescend."

"You need to take care of yourself, Julia."

"I am. I am working. I am fine."

"You're pregnant."

"Two freaking months pregnant, Chess. That's all."

"All the more reason why you need a place and a grunt hut isn't that place. Let me look out for you. Please, it's my job." He insisted. She knew what he meant.

"Where's Freeman?"

"I sent him back to work. He's cool people. I like him. He seems genuine."

"You didn't-"

"I didn't, but you should."

"It's too soon. Let me live, please."

"It's not too soon." He said, taking a seat in the chair at her folding table. "The field is not a place for a baby." He started flipping through her journal. He eyed the container across the room, sitting by the flap. "You keep him by the door?"

"I keep him where I want."

"You need to bury the kid. And move on."

"How can you say that? Where should I bury him?"

"At home where you belong, Julia. With your family. Why are you so against it? There's nothing wrong with the compound. Or even in Philly. Whichever."

"The compound or Philly? They're my options." She sighed. "I'm sure Tav would love that."

"Philly has changed. We have a home in Philly as well. You are welcome to that."

"Why do you do this to me, Chess?"

"Because I am right. You know I am. You can't run around the field like this. It is dangerous. You are lucky I let you do what you already have done."

"Chess, what about Freeman?"

"What about Freeman? What do you want with him? What are your intentions with Freeman?"

She didn't answer, looking away as she sat opposite him.

"You fell for him. Dammit. I told you."

"I am allowed to fall for a guy, Chess. It's been so long. I think my fuckin virginity grew back in the time between you and him."

"I doubt that, but if you want Antonio, then bring him with you. I'll find a place for him."

"You cannot give him a position he hasn't earned. You know that and he wouldn't want that."

"That's what he said." Chess nodded.

"What's he want?"

"You." Chess pointed at her. "So, let's figure this out. You know very well I will not allow your feet to leave this compound. I hate New York almost as much as I hate Philadelphia, so let's decide what you want."

"Let me think. Cause up till you dragged me out of work, I was pretty sure that I wanted a job."

"Nope. Not now. It's off the table." He said, looking at her belly. "How about Florida, woman? Kid's from Florida."

"Ugh, alligators. And who says this is gonna work out?" Julia asked. "I mean it's been 8 weeks, Chess and I could still lose the baby, then I would be in Florida with alligators."

"Got something against gators all of a sudden?" He laughed, trying to set her at ease.

"What? Eww, no animals. Eww."

 He stood and extended his hand to her. "I want my wife." He took her gently by her arm and escorted her out of the tent.

"But, Chess. I-"

"Shhh. I love you." He said, holding the flap open for her. "Julia Morgan, you know I come before any man."

Julia let him lead her out of the tent. Chess wasn't into tent fucking these days as the leader of whatever, he had standards. He wasn't a grunt anymore. He walked her across the campus to the main house and let himself in. Derrick said the house would be available to him. Fresh sheets were on the bed as well as Julia's favorite snacks in a basket on the table in the master bedroom. A fan whirred in the corner of the room, the AC was set to 70 degrees.

"How's Macy?" She asked, opening the pack of Swedish fish. She popped one in her mouth. So sweet. The perks of being the leader's wife. He pulled her ring out of his pocket and he took her hand, slid it on her ring finger.

"Shut up about Macy, please."

"Yes, sir." She sighed, looking at that damn ring. It was pretty and she thought back to the day on the porch at their farm house when he gave it to her.

"You know I am not leaving New York without laying down with you." He advised her, sweeping her hair over her shoulder and kissing her neck.

"I do love you." Julia said, feeling the zipper on her sundress slide down over her back.

"I haven't seen my girl in ages. She won't come the fuck home to me when I call her." He said, dropping her dress to the floor.

"You gonna make love to me, Chess?"

"I'm gonna take care of you, yeah." He told her honestly. "This is a different world, babe. I give and I can take away."

"That's cruel, Chess. You know it."

"You make it cruel, Julia. You always gotta go against me."

"I can only mourn for so long. Chess, I told you there was something about him."

"Julia, he's young, he's dark and he was hard. That's all it was. You always go looking for something that isn't there."

"Well, you got a narrow view of things, supreme leader." She said, taking a look around the stark white room with its modern furniture. There were no blinds on the window, but a couple layers of sheer curtains.

"I know what I know. I feel what I feel. This right here is real." He added to that.

"Was real. Was being the operative word here, Chess."

"You always play hard to get. Always give me some shit, Julia."

"I have to keep the king grounded, great lord of Pennsylvania."

"Oh, quit that shit, Julia." He laughed. "My fuckin' queen, lay down." He ordered, taking her to the edge of the bed. She lay on the plush mattress, so comfortable compared to her cot. He undressed and he lay with her, getting her ready first with his mouth, then when she came he lay on top of her. He kissed her and lay with her a bit, touching her and making her come again with his hand. She would tell him when she was ready and resisted doing so, letting him kiss and lick her, touch and prod her, till his head dipped between her legs again. He asked nothing of her in return, only waited for her to say the words he wanted to hear. Sometimes it took longer than other times. But she always said it. She had to get into a certain frame of mind for Chess. She lay beside him. Legs spread, bed wet beneath her.

She was annoyed with him and annoyed with herself for letting him have his way. She could have just as easily told him no at her tent and sent the leader, king, president or whatever he called himself these days away from her and her new boyfriend. If she thought that anything beyond that compound was possible with Antonio, she would have denied her husband his due. She needed more time than 8 weeks. The spark was there definitely, but the stuff that makes it last hadn't been tested yet. Julia looked at love and relationships in terms of death. Would she be willing to die for that person? Her answer would be no. If she spent more time with him, that could shift to a maybe. Death was rather permanent and she only maintained permanent with Chess Morgan.

"You wanna grab dinner?" Chess asked, redressing in his fatigues. Dress uniform had long gone the way of the dinosaur. He still had his though, neatly hanging in a closet somewhere in the fortress.

"Babe, dinner? Like a date?"

"Babe, bring Antonio. I'm done with you for now."

"Thanks. I feel so special." She sighed, sprawling herself on the comfy mattress.

He picked her dress up from the floor, her panties and brought them to her. He laid the outfit over the edge of the bed. "You are special, my Julia, and I mean that." He stretched his short body to kiss her and she allowed him. "Do you think this is going to last?"

"I don't know. I didn't expect anything." She answered. "I want to work, though, Chess. Don't take that away from me. I am fine."

Chess patted her belly. No bump, no bulge, nothing. She looked a little bloated is all. The loose abdomen had been a remnant of her last pregnancy. She'd worked at tightening up without any success. "I know you want this, babe. You've always wanted this."

"It's way too soon to lay me up in a bed though."

"You get a feeling with this one? Anything?"

"Chess, I can't say. I honestly don't know. She's strong. She's healthy. But so was the last one. And the one before that."

"Look, woman. Stick to PR. No field missions. You're restricted from all future calls."

"I understand that. But I can educate and put in place all the-"

"Yes. If the sirens sound, I want you in a shelter. No boots on the ground."

"That's reasonable. I didn't plan on running into a horde baby bump first."

"Do not step out of line. I will bring you home."

"So I can fight with Mace instead of you."

"We're not talking about Macy."

"How's Jesslyn?"

"That woman's as stubborn as you are. Jess is a good mom, a damn basket case, but an excellent mom."

"But you have Layla."

"Layla. That's my girl. I love that kid the most. I know we're not supposed to pick favorites. But she's my next leader. Those boys of Macy's, our boys, are sociopaths in the making." He paused. Julia got out of bed, pulled her dress up and slid her panties over her hips. Chess zipped her up, then held her from behind. "You are my greatest loss, woman." He said softly in her ear.

"I'd like to raise her at the farmhouse, Chess. Would that be alright? I don't want that fortress, the lifestyle, my Chess."

"That's fine. I will make that happen. You let me know when you are ready."

"You don't have to do anything to it. You got something going on at our place?"

"No." He answered, sending off a vibe that was up to no good.

"Chess Morgan. Who is she?" She asked. "Do not turn our place into your hooker retreat."

"No, it's not like that. Our parents are there."

"All of them?"

"Mine, your dad and Karen. Tavin put them out of sector one awhile."

"How's Tav doing?"

"Knowing him, he's probably between some female's open legs."

"So, get your ass out of the tent at least."

"I wanna be with Antonio."

"He's a newb. He's young, strong, got a good record. He got commendations for that nest kill you two pulled off. You gave him all the glory."

"I did. He deserved it."

"I read the report. It was odd how many knife wounds there were considering the grunts don't carry knives."

"It was a bad ass nest, Chess. Team work, that's all."

"You could have done it alone. That was a small nest."

"Chess, remember your first time." She chided him, looking up over her shoulder at him. "Not knowing what to expect. If I had stuck with Masters-"

"It would have been over long before dawn."

"Saving lives, Chess. I saved his life for a reason. I don't take my connections lightly. You know that."

"Ok, mommy." He smiled, kissing her neck below her ear. "Dinner, love of my life, then I am taking the grunts out on the town. I have selected a few. Your boy won't be home till late."

"Awe, where?"

"If you weren't with child, you'd have a good time. You know, the drinking and the whores."

"Derrick..."

"Derrick...it's gonna be a long night."

"Dinner. There's this Italian place I have wanted to go, but we're restricted to-"

"You are never restricted. Where would you get that idea?  I have told you-"

"Not we as in me. We as in me and him. We're restricted from leaving-"

"Say the word and you can leave. Julia, quit denying who you are."

"I don't want special treatment."

"Your record proves itself. Like anyone would think you are where you are because you're my girl. At first maybe, but after you prove yourself it's clear you are who you are because of you, not me."

"I been around the block." She smiled. "Plus my sparkling personality." She added, laughing a bit.

"Go to your Italian place with your boyfriend. Go on." He said, leaving her go.

"You coming?"

"I already got what I came for. I know what you look like when you eat, so go. I'll go do shots with Derrick."

"I do love your presidential kingly ass."

"I love you too. Go, before I change my mind."

"Chess, I promise, he's a good choice."

"I'll see for myself."

Antonio visited her after the night out on the town. No party matched the party thrown by two leaders of two free states. A group of horny, drunk men with side arms on the streets of Upstate New York could have turned ugly if not for the whores and the strippers. Lap dances only, Antonio assured her. If he only knew...had it not been for the baby, she would have taken up with a stripper and a whore and consumed many shots. Human growth hormone had a way of ruining a good party.

"Hey, Freeman." She said as he kissed her. "Glad you had fun."

"Sure did, Morgan. Why didn't you go? You and me did that nest alone."

"I'm pregnant."

"For real, Morgan?" He asked. "We having a kid?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Ok. I heard you." He said, settling on the cot next to her. He stretched out, put his arms around her and got comfortable. "I thought something was up since the husband was here and all."

"The doc told him. I didn't."

"Alright. I heard you got escorted outta there." He said, nestling his chin on her shoulder. "You're already married or I would ask you."

"Awe, that's sweet." She replied, thinking of her husband.

"You would say no, though."

"That's right, but it's sweet of you. We don't know each other really well. I think we should just carry on as usual."

"I like that idea." He agreed. "I like you, Morgan. I ain't lying about that."

"Me, too, Freeman."

"A baby." He said.

"Don't jump ahead too far, please. Stay here in the moment."

"Ok, but I never been in this place before."

"I have."

Freeman waited for more. There was always more with her. She'd led a long life crammed into her 27 years. Somehow when he looked at her, mom wasn't one of the words he'd use to describe her. She gave him a pregnancy overview, three times, three losses. Her words were not encouraging or hopeful, rather she sounded as if she was telling him not to get his hopes up.

"Well, I'll be happy for us then."

"I am happy. I'm just nervous is all."

"So you having the baby in this tent, ma?" He asked, his hand sliding over her shoulder to her hip to her belly.

"That's a long way off. Stay in the moment, Freeman."

"In the moment. Ok, in the moment is me and you in a tent. Can I tell mami?"

"Does mami know about me?"

"Mami knows. I wrote her. Told her about this pretty red head I was falling for."

"You fallin, Freeman."

"If you catchin, Morgan."

"You're silly."

"Antonio jr."

"Antonia. She's female."

"Sure?"

"100%. Antonia. She's strong. She's healthy. Would you like to hear her? Listen to her?"

"Hell, yeah. You can do that?"

"Sure." She answered, placing her hand over his as it rested on her belly. "Just listen. She's connected to us like we are connected to each other. It's cool, right?"

"It is, ma." He said, kissing her shoulder. "I love her already."

Open carry laws were dissolved since the first nights of the zombie waves years ago. There were no more laws on the books in regards to the right to bear arms. That was a part of the past. In fact, it had become highly encouraged to bear arms. Over the course of the first year after the zombie rebellion, so many people had armed that you were hard pressed to find someone who was not a gun enthusiast. With certain freedoms came certain responsibilities. The initial wild, wild west period had passed and the outlaws became the heroes, the survivors and the saviors of an oppressed and scared population. Like Kelly Keller had predicted years ago, it was a man's world again. Few women held any position of power, which pissed Julia off. There were qualified women like Freda Cortez, sector 1 leader in Texas or Delilah Green, designated leader of Rhode Island. Sometimes the woman was strongest when there were strong men around her. Most of the leaders came up on their first night, assuming the role automatically, like Dee in RI. Some kicked asses and slaughtered the masses like Freda and her female pack of rogues. If Julia ever thought she herself was tough, she could never be able to match Freda or any one of her women. She'd seen the way things had to go down in order to get done. She could handle it, but didn't want the glory or the headache. There were people out there that needed help. She gave it, putting evac plans in place, training the operators. She'd created the list of protocols in order to call an evacuation, determining when to call local operators to exterminate and when to call infantry into a situation. She had written the book on safety, keeping people out of harms way. She'd saved countless lives, kept people in their communities. Knowledge is power. You cannot arm an uneducated society. But you cannot disarm the society and expect some form of authority to protect that society. There was a loose rule of law, but the typical judge, jury, jail, prison was a thing of the past. In fact the majority of the prisons were safe communities. Current society, people just killed people. It wasn't random like in the past, killing for no reason at all. Criminal activity was not tolerated, but really didn't occur that much either. There was plenty to go around. Half of society had been eradicated. Half of those had turned and the other half was killed off in the first couple years when society was at its lowest, at its most basic and trying to survive. Killing them on the fence had shifted to killing them across the land. There was no greater sense of brotherhood or community than back when people became connected to each other in love instead of hate. Julia and those like her worked feverishly to keep that dream alive. New world, new rules. Our house, our rules. Survivors banned together and took back their land, their livelihood, their peace of mind. 

Summer had passed as well, fall was on top of them and soon winter would be approaching. Julia sifted through the constant emails and read through the community message boards. Families and people in need. What one community did not have, another did and goods were exchanged. There were still people in the world that did not prepare for the coming fall and winter. No matter how tirelessly she worked and begged and screamed and hollered and wrote countless blog entries, people still didn't listen. Julia made things happen for people that didn't deserve it. She had a soft spot for the elderly and the sick, but lame people who could do for themselves and their families had no excuse, but made plenty.

Whenever she traveled into the community, she carried her side arm and her knife. As the bump grew, she'd been fitted with a vest holster as the waist holster was unbecoming of an expectant mother. Nonetheless it was important to be armed. Jeans went by the wayside and she transitioned into stretchy pants and sweatshirts, but still wore her boots. Six months pregnant she was ready to hang up her boots. She was cranky, cold and she did not carry around extra weight like a champ. She'd gained 15 pounds another 5 of water alone and when her blood pressure went up and she started getting headaches, Chess pulled her out of the field altogether.

She arrived to the house on base and found Derrick on her door step awaiting her arrival. He assisted her out of the car and up the steps. He set her in the living room and she propped her feet up on the coffee table.

"To what do I owe this pleasure, Mr. Singletary?" She asked as he took a seat on the table next to her feet. He unlaced her boots, pulled them off one at a time.

"Got a call from your husband. He asked me to check on you."

"You personally? That's nice. Thanks for the fire."

"I know you like your fires." He smiled. "We spent a night together in front of a fire."

"Don't remind me, Derrick." She leaned forward and unhooked her holster, then handed it to him.

"So what are you doing here? You could have sent one of your people."

"He asked me. Not one of my people."

"So you're gonna report back what? I'm fine. I'm fat. I don't feel well."

"Is that what you'd like me to report?"

She swung her legs around and laid on the sofa. "Report what you want, Derrick."

"You still mad at me?"

"No, Sir." She answered.

"How many times do I need to say sorry, J?"

"A million more, Derrick."

"Damn, J. You can hold a grudge."

Julia stayed quiet. Be nice, she told herself. Be nice. Be nice. Be nice to Derrick. He got up and helped himself to the kitchen. It was his kitchen after all in his house on his base in his great sector in the free state of New York. She glanced across the room to the urn which set atop the fireplace. "oh, calm down." She muttered at it. He could still make her feel guilty. He could still make her feel. He.

She pulled her sweatshirt up and rubbed her own belly. The protruding bump, pressing her hands over the baby. The strength of this one...she was a keeper. She looked back to the urn. "Oh, babe. Can I keep this one?" She lay, feeling Antonia kick and move, repositioning herself inside the bump.

"Talking to yourself, J?" He called.

"Kind of. Whatcha doing, D?"

"Making a salad. You wanna eat, J?"

"Oh, please." She called. "Where is the unit? They went on a call late last night." She asked, lifting off the sofa and heading through the doorway into the kitchen.

"They're on the way back. They're all accounted for if you're worried."

"I'm not worried." She answered.

"You're kid's been with Masters. He's learning a lot."

"Ok."

"You miss it? Wish you could go?"

"I can't say no. But I can't say yeah either." She replied, watching him dice the tomatoes and peppers. He'd always been a fit man, healthy and strong. Reserved, he wasn't an open book. She'd known Derrick for years and he was the type to keep his thoughts to himself usually. This six foot two man, thin for his height, clean shaved man chopped salad in his kitchen and had a pleasant conversation. Ever single, ever a gentleman, but he had that side to him that you didn't want to mess with. Like everyone else in the world. The survivors, the ones that made things happen were all good people with that side you didn't want to mess with.

"Napoleon says it's time to pack it in."

"Napoleon can kiss my ass usually, but I think I agree with him, D."

"Where ya taking the fam, J?"

"Home, I guess. Maybe Florida. Me and Antonio don't know yet. He says he'll be happy anywhere with me."

"He don't know Napoleon."

"He can stay active. It's what he wants."

"And you? Sitting home with a baby on your hip. That something that interests you."

"I'm surprised I got this far."

"You don't lay up with soldiers."

"You were the soldier once, Derrick." She reminded him, taking her plate and his plate and setting them on the table in the small kitchen. "Thanks." She said, starting to pick at the lettuce.

"No prob." He replied, handing her the dressing. A creamy vinaigrette variety. One does not get picky or choosy when food is placed in front of you on the table. You eat whether you like it or not.

"So what are you doing here, Derrick? You could have sent someone else to check on me. You and I both know that." 

"I can't hang out with you?"

"Sure."

"Visit my old friend?"

"Sure." She nodded, getting up from the seat. She fetched them water and put ice in his. "You want something."

"You're psychic. You tell me."

"Get to it. I don't have all night."

"I want a favor. I got a rat." He said softly.

"Hmmm, and what can I do to help you?"

"I wanna know the identity of the rat." He replied.

"He's at your table. You know who he is."

"I known these men all my life and I think there's a plan in motion. Someone's making a play."

"I think you're jumping the gun here, but you do what you gotta do. You wronged him. If you make it right, it'll all go away." He ate quietly as he listened to her. She reached for his hand and he pulled away.

"Keep that shit to yourself, J."

"Alright then. You came to me. Keep it private, Derrick."

Once they finished their salads, he took her plate and his, set them in the sink. "Thanks, J."

"We don't have to live like animals anymore. Make it right. It's a misunderstanding and it grew from there. Derrick,"

"Julia, thank you." He said, cutting her off.

"Don't kill this man." Julia stated.

"You growing a conscience now you got a baby growing inside you?"

"Change, Derrick. It's about change. Rebuild the trust. Try something different."

"You wanna keep a soldier company, miss?" He asked, leaning in the back of the chair.

"Derrick Singletary," She sighed. "You in that kinda mood?"

"That was one of the best nights of my life, Julia."

"Mine too. Probably for different reasons." She paused. "We could, but no thanks. I'm still mad at you over the last night. So let's not repeat history."

"I apologized to you and I do not apologize to everybody."

"He never trusted me again, Derrick. I asked you to keep your mouth shut."

"It was the time, Julia. Everything was over the top. I didn't give a shit."

"Derrick, it's the only time he ever put his hands on me. Cause of you."

"Cause of you." He pointed at her.

"Whatever." She smiled. She stood, handed him his jacket.

"You never could keep them legs shut. You lay down like a man, you can get treated like one."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried to fight like a man and lost. Thanks, D."

"It was Napoleon, not your boyfriend, so what's it matter? Your boyfriend never knew."

"There's no difference there. One and the same. I would have preferred the boyfriend. Hubby was pissed cause you were not friends at the time. Then you shoved it in his face. You fuckin' used me."

"After the fact. Not during. That night...I never sat and talked with a woman like that."

"Go." She ordered. "Please. I can call Chess myself."

"You really putting me out my own home?"

"Derrick, come on. I'm ginormous."

"Hardly ginormous, J." He said, moving closer to her. He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Hardly. You all belly."

"I thought I would get some tits out of the experience. Maybe some ass." She complained, walking away from him. "Out, I want Freeman. It's a baby thing."

She heard him come in late. Middle of the night. He'd already unloaded his gear, washed up, bundled up in sweats before making his way across campus to visit her. He slipped into bed with her, put his hands on her belly with hers and listened to Antonia sing, her heartbeat strong and her body repositioned, sensing daddy was home.

"Freeman." She whispered, shimmying back against him.

He couldn't get over the little one moving around inside Julia. She knew his voice, his touch on her abdomen. Julia connected them and she performed for daddy as he spoke to her.

"Hey, ma." He whispered, shifting her ass up a bit, making it possible to get inside her.

"I love you, Antonio." She said when he went inside her. She reached back and placed her arm around his neck.

"Love you, ma." He said, stroking into her, his arms wrapped around her. One strong arm over her chest and one strong arm beneath her belly, cradling her small body to his as he made love to her. She felt intoxicated with Freeman. He got her high, took away her low. He started to consume her thoughts. She started comparing him to others, taking him into consideration with her choices, thinking of a future with her Freeman.

-I love you, Antonio.

/-I love you, ma./

ORIGINAL POST 6/22/2015, EDITED AND CHAPTER DIVIDED 8/17/2021